Second Chances
by Cheriana
Summary: "Fine. So just leave me here in the woods by myself. You're good at that." If you ever thought Bella trusted Edward again WAY too easily after NM, or that Jacob just gave her up too easily, this is the story for you. Some J/B, but E/B eventually
1. Chapter 1: The Plane

**Author's Note:**

**This picks up with the second leg of the plane ride home from Volterra in New Moon, in Bella's POV. Everything up until that point remains unchanged.**

**This will eventually be Edward/Bella, but I'm going to make him work for it *cough like-Bella-should-have- cough*. Jacob will figure prominently as well, however...but I'm not giving away more than that.**

Chapter 1 - The Plane

All of the caffeine didn't help. Eventually, at Edward and Alice's urging, my will lost the battle to my body. Somewhere between Atlanta and Seattle, I finally slumped against Edward's chest in exhausted sleep. Even as I succumbed, my mind screamed at me not to miss this last chance to see his face - because I had no doubt that shortly after landing at Sea-Tac, he would be gone. But it was a futile battle. It seemed that although the heart can clearly survive being repeatedly stomped into smithereens, as was certain to happen to mine again in the very near future when he left me again, the body was obviously more fragile. And apparently mine needed sleep more than my heart needed the reassurance of keeping Edward in sight.

Edward and Alice didn't wake me until the very last possible moment - time to leave the plane. At his cool fingers on my brow combined with his gentle voice - so perfectly tender that it was excruciatingly painful - I sat bolt upright, my eyes frantically searching for his face. He was there, in the seat right beside me, and Alice now stood leaning over him watching me wake up.

_"Edward_?" My voice was breathless, panicked; and even despite my firm belief that he could barely wait to deposit me in Charlie's care so that he could return to his distractions, I still couldn't miss the flash of guilt and pain that marred his gorgeous eyes when he saw my panic. My fingers shot out to grab at his shirt, holding on fiercely - ignoring the voice in my head that screamed this was only going to make things harder in the long run. I had to stop doing that, I realized, willing my traitorous fingers to let go.

His eyes were glued to my face with pure intensity, but Alice's were no longer glued on me. After a moment of gazing into nothingness, her eyes fixed directly on her brother, concern shining in their amber depths. Her hand landed softly on his shoulder in what I perceived to be a supporting gesture, but I couldn't understand why _he_ needed support. I felt a stab of betrayal, although I shouldn't have. He was her brother, after all. But _he_ wasn't the one with the hole ripped in his chest, and I was supposed to have been her best friend.

Edward's velvet voice interrupted my mutinous thoughts. "Bella...it's okay. I'm here. I'm _right here._ I'm not going anywhere. You're safe." It must have been my imagination that his voice started shaking halfway through his reassurances. There was no imagining the almost painful grip of his hands on my shoulders, and the frantic way his eyes searched my face - as though he was just realizing something terrible. And considering the look on Alice's face and his mindreading capabilities, maybe he was...

Unfortunately, he had made the wrong choice of words if he meant to reassure _me_. Having slept just long enough to take the edge off my exhaustion, I was thinking more clearly than I had been in Italy. Reality hit me square in the chest like a ton of bricks.

With 100% certainty, I knew: Edward was lying to me about not going anywhere...just like he'd lied to me when he had said it'd be like he never existed. And I _wasn't_ safe. How could I be? Because within just a few hours, he wouldn't be _right here _anymore. He would be gone. And in every way that mattered, so would I. The black hole in my chest would completely consume me and I would surely cease to exist. I wasn't sure even my own personal sun could light my way back this time - even if he was speaking to me, which considering the way I left he probably wasn't.

In any other circumstances, my sudden realization might have actually caused me to feel smug. Edward, Alice and Jacob were all _three_ wrong - it turned out that I had some self-preservation instincts after all. Unfortunately, they chose that exact moment to kick in. Horror flooded me, and suddenly I couldn't get far enough away from the face I'd longed for for seven long months.

"No!"

I yelled it near the top of my lungs, causing the few remaining passengers waiting in line to exit the plane to turn their heads in our direction. Edward gaped at me in frozen shock, while Alice simply sighed in frustration. I was more sure than ever that she must have seen this coming. A nearby flight attendant began moving in our direction.

"Is there a problem here?"

I ignored her completely, suddenly struggling in Edward's iron grip.

"Let me go, Edward." I had meant it to come out with all the force of the earlier 'No.' Instead, it began in my chest as a full-fledged shriek, but by the time it left my lips it was no more than a haunted, ragged whisper. Unbidden, the tears sprang to my eyes and I felt one immediately escape down my cheek. "Now," I added weakly.

He had to do as I said. It was my only hope. Because if I had any hope of retaining any shred of my own self, he had to leave now rather than later. I had already made it so much worse by clinging to him thus far.

_"Bella_..." I had been determined not to look at him again, but his tone of voice brought my eyes to his. He sounded as haunted as I had and he looked even worse. Shock and terror mingled in his eyes in equal measure, and his hands gripped me even tighter.

"Miss, is there anything I can do for you?" the flight attendant asked me, her eyes warily glued to Edward. "Do I need to call security?" she continued hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable.

"That won't be necessary," Alice jumped in with a reassuring smile. _"Edward," _she changed her focus, her voice firmer and all traces of that smile gone. "Let her go for now. It'll be all right. I'll help Bella."

"No!" His snarl at Alice was unexpected and ferocious, and I shuddered. What exactly did Alice see that could pull such a strong reaction from him that he didn't want to let me out of his grip? Was I in danger? Was Victoria waiting for me? But why would Edward even care about that? He had left me completely vulnerable to her before, and nothing had really changed.

At my shudder, his head snapped back around to look at me and he immediately released me. I belatedly realized that he had mistaken my shuddering reaction to indicate fear of _him_. He slowly leaned away, his hands held out like a character in an old Western movie showing his rival that he didn't have a weapon. Chagrin filled his features. "Bella..." he whispered, hurt confusion filling his beautiful face.

I tore my eyes away from that face, unable to bear the pain there. But somewhere deep inside, I felt the stirrings of a completely unexpected reaction to his pain - anger. He had got his way, hadn't he? He had wanted to be away from me, and that's exactly what he had got. I had already assuaged his guilt over having caused my 'suicide.' What else did _he_ have to feel pain about?

"Come on, Bella," Alice soothed as she inserted herself into the new space between me and Edward and reached out for me. "You don't have to decide anything right now. You and Edward can talk later. I'll walk with you. It's going to be all right."

That same flash of betrayal was back. What did Alice care? She had left me too. In fact, all of the Cullens had. None of them could be trusted.

For months, I had believed that the hole in my chest could only be healed by their return. And when Alice had appeared in my house, I had immediately expected that gap to start filling in. But it hadn't. If anything, it was worse. Now that two of them were within reach of my fingers - including the one Cullen who had punched the hole in my chest to start with - I _wasn't_ healed. In fact, the hole only seemed to grow with each moment in Edward's presence as I waited for him to inevitably leave me again.

"No, Alice," I heard come out of my mouth in a voice so flat and dead that I almost didn't recognize it as my own. I blocked her from lifting me out of the seat to my feet. "It's not."

She blinked, hurt filling her beautiful features at my dismissal of her. I guess she hadn't seen _that_ coming, I thought to myself bitterly. _'Good.' _I hadn't foreseen her abandoning me for months either, so that made us even.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. Edward wasn't going to get the chance to walk out on me again, and neither was Alice. I was going to beat them both to the punch. I was not going to be a helpless victim this time. I would be proactive and shape my own future, even if it was the last future I wanted. It didn't really matter how it came to be - my Edward-less future was already sealed either way. He would leave again if I did this or not. At least this way I wouldn't be blindsided and it would be, in some way, my choice.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I turned my eyes to the flight attendant who still stood by looking like she'd love to be anywhere else. She was still waiting to hear from me that I didn't need security to be called...as though that would accomplish anything. "Everything's fine," I told her flatly, fairly certain that it was the least convincing performance of all time. "I just need to get off the plane now." I glared at Edward and Alice. "Alone."

The flight attendant blinked, and I knew I was being unfair. The idea of her stopping Edward _or_ Alice from following me was completely laughable, but she didn't know that. Or maybe she did. "You're all free to debark immediately," she stammered rather noncommittally, and then couldn't get out of sight fast enough.

"I need to make a call," I announced flatly when she was gone, speaking more to myself than either of them. Alice helpfully produced her cell phone and I pointedly ignored it. Digging into my small carry-on bag, I retrieved my own cell phone, turned it on, and was gratified to discover I still had some battery left. Turning my phone off to keep Charlie from calling had been beneficial after all.

But instead of making a call yet, I stood woodenly and made my way into the line, clutching my phone tightly. I saw Edward step toward me to reach for my bag, and I turned my body to block him. "_Don't,_" I hissed, and had the pleasure of watching a vampire recoil from _me._

"Bella, please," Edward pleaded, and I heard the desperation in his voice. "You're exhausted. Just let me help you and we can talk in the car." My blood chilled at the thought of getting in a car with him and Alice, only for him to drop me off with Charlie and leave me again. Why even bother? Did he want a chance to apologize? It wasn't necessary. Every additional word I heard from his velvet voice scraped across my raw nerves like sandpaper. It would only make it worse. Childishly, I turned my back, biting my lip and walking faster. "Stop," I pleaded in return, knowing he would hear me. I sensed rather than saw him closing the gap, arm reaching out toward me to wrap around my waist and support me as I walked.

The instant he made contact, I reacted as though his cold skin had burned me. This I couldn't allow. If I grabbed hold of him again, I wouldn't be letting go. He'd end up having to pry me off of him to leave, and I wasn't sure I could survive that.

Crying out as though he had struck me, I wrenched my body away from his grasp, spinning around to face him, hands out in front of me defensively. I could feel how white my face had gone, how wide my eyes were. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"I said don't touch me," I rasped.

He froze like a statue. Those black eyes stared back at me, looking as hurt as if I had stabbed him in the chest - his cold, unfeeling chest. I couldn't face that look anymore, so I turned my back and caught up with the passengers in front of me, stepping off the plane into the terminal.

"_Bella!" _he thundered finally, at the edge of control, and I knew he had unfrozen and would be coming after me.

"Edward..." Alice's voice behind me held a note of warning, and I heard the sound of her grabbing his arm. "Not right now. She'll change her mind. Just let her be. She's in shock."

I almost snorted at that. Yeah, I was in shock. And whose fault was _that?_

I could feel the two of them behind me as I walked into the airport, Edward's eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. Never breaking step, I managed to dial Charlie's cell number. No _way_ was I letting Edward or Alice get me into another Cullen vehicle anytime soon.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Chapter 2: The Airport

Chapter 2 - The Airport

I received a shock when the call connected - because it was Charlie's voice I heard, but he wasn't talking to me. It sounded like some kind of scuffle over the phone was ensuing, and at the same time I heard Charlie's muffled voice: "Hey! Give me the - what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Bella?" came a different frantic voice over the phone, very clearly now, and I realized this voice had been the winner of the scuffle for Charlie's cell phone. "Is that you?"

The hole in my chest instantly reduced in size, relief flooding through me. "Jacob?" A huge sob pushed up from my chest and I felt the tears return to my eyes. A sharp hiss emanated from close behind me, but I didn't look back to find the source. It might just as easily have been Alice, and I could only imagine what she was now showing Edward. Again, strangely, I didn't care. Actually, part of me hoped she _was_ showing him what he had done.

The sound that came through the phone sounded like a whoosh of air had released itself from Jacob's lungs with great force. "Oh thank _God!" _His voice was trembling, I realized with some amazement. "You're alive! Bella, where the hell are you?"

"Bella! Jacob, give me the damn phone!" came Charlie's commanding voice, sounding far away as though through a tunnel, and I also heard another small scuffle. I could almost picture Jacob's super strong arm holding my dad away with no effort at all. Charlie didn't stand a chance. Absently, I wondered if he'd notice how hot Jacob's skin was or wonder why a 16-year-old boy could fight off a grown man onehanded.

"Jacob, can you come get me, please? I'm at the airport." The words surprised me, both in their content and the lost-little-girl quality to them. "Please?"

I hadn't planned on that course of action, but suddenly I latched onto the idea like a lifeline. Edward's walking away would surely be the end of me...unless Jacob was there when it happened. He had been the only respite from the hole in my heart for months; if he was there to hold me together when it happened, I might even survive Edward's disappearance. Suddenly, I was desperate for Jacob's presence.

I was vaguely aware of sudden harsh movement just a few steps behind me, and looked back to see Alice pushing her way in front of Edward to stop him, pushing him back. His teeth were bared, his lips pulled back in a snarl. Alice's lips moved silently, and I knew that she was telling him something too fast and low for me to hear. Probably something about not causing a scene. Strangely, I found that I didn't care. The sight of Edward and Alice brought pain. The sound of Jacob in my ear brought comfort. So I turned back to continue walking through the terminal and focused on the sound of Jacob's voice - escapism at its finest.

"That's what I'm doing right now, Bells." Jacob's voice was intense, more serious than I was used to. "I'm about to have to let you go, but we'll be there in less than 24 hours, okay? Just tell me _exactly_ where you are so I can find you when we get there!"

Less than 24 hours? My brain wasn't working quickly enough to process this. It'd take Jacob 24 hours to get to Sea-Tac? I didn't understand why, but that was fine. Considering the way I'd treated him last, it was more than I deserved. I'd sleep in an airport chair waiting for him before I'd let Edward and Alice deliver me to Charlie. I had no intention of going anywhere with them...

Wait a minute_...what did Jacob say?_

_We'll_ be there?

_"No_, Jacob, please don't bring Charlie. Come alone. _Please_, Jacob. I...I need you." I could hear the urgency in my voice, but Jacob couldn't possibly understand how crucial this point was. Charlie would insist on taking me home. I needed to go to La Push - my safe place, a place without one Edward memory.

At those words, I heard a ferocious growl and chanced a glance backward. Edward was still trailing a few steps behind me, but he looked...awful. Beautiful and awful at the same time, with Alice a step behind him grasping his arm, pulling ineffectually at him. With every step, he closed some of the small distance that Alice's interference had helped me gain from him. I felt a sudden pain radiating outward from the hole in my chest, and quickly picked up my pace and looked away.

Jacob's voice had dropped to almost a whisper. "I wish I _could_ come get you alone, Bella, but Charlie bought my ticket and he's not going to let me get on this plane without him. He's not too happy with me right now. I told him that you're in Italy and you're in trouble, but I also said I wouldn't tell him anything else about how to find you there unless he took me with him." He snorted softly, and the next words were pure Jacob: "I hate it for you, Bells, but if you're mad at me for telling him then you're just going to have to get over it. Charlie's coming whether either of us like it or not."

Understanding dawned. They didn't know I was back. Jacob thought I was still in the airport in Italy. They planned to be there in 24 hours...

Holy crow. Charlie and Jacob were _going to Italy_.

For _me._

Suddenly, a different kind of pain shot through me. Charlie couldn't afford two plane tickets to Italy. And Jacob...

A violent shudder shook my entire frame. Jacob's intent was painfully clear. If he'd tracked me down in Volterra, I had no doubt he'd have stormed the fortress - literally - tried to defend me against the Volturi, and almost certainly have died horribly in the process. The thought nearly destroyed me.

Jacob's voice pulled me out of my reverie. "Listen to me, Bella. Don't you dare leave that airport! Tell me where you are so I can find you when we land, and then _don't move. _I don't care if you have to sleep on the floor, just stay put."

"Jacob, no!" Desperation surged through me. "You can't go to Italy! I'm not in Italy - I'm at Sea-Tac!"

There was a brief pause, and then Jacob's voice rang out like an explosion.

"_You're w__hat?" _

I couldn't have found the words to describe the amount of emotion in his voice if I had tried, but I couldn't decipher it - was he relieved, shocked, angry?

"I just got off a plane from Atlanta. I'm - Jacob?"

The call ended abruptly, letting me know it must have been anger, and the hole in my chest expanded. A glance behind me expanded it further, because I had half expected _him_ to already be gone too. For the time being, Edward was still there when I looked for him, but I knew that wouldn't last. Now what was I going to do? Jacob had deserted me. I supposed I deserved it; now that he knew I was safely back in Washington, he wanted nothing more to do with me. I wasn't technically stranded - I knew Edward would drive me home out of a sense of chivalry. But that would only make things worse. And how would I survive Edward's inevitable departure without my Jacob? I could try calling Charlie back, but he was obviously _with_ Jacob, so that'd have to wait. Uncertainly, my steps slowed as I tried to decide what to do.

A cab. I'd simply call a cab. I had packed every bit of cash I owned to bring with me to Italy, and of course hadn't used any of it since Alice and then Edward had been there to prevent my spending a dime. So I'd just get a cab. And the possibility existed that I might ask it to take me all the way to Phoenix. Or maybe further, somewhere where nobody knew me. It was better than the alternative. Charlie was going to be...unpleasant at best for a while.

But my relief at finally having a plan was short-lived. Because in the next moment, my feet pulled up short and the hole in my chest _exploded. _

There, waiting as inconspicuously as possible, only yards from where I had come to a halt, stood the rest of the Cullen clan.

After months of aching for all of them, the pain that shot through me almost doubled me over. It had never truly occurred to me before, but they had left me too. Abandoned me. Left me to die at the hands of Laurent and Victoria. Where had they been when I most needed them?

Esme - beautiful, motherly Esme - was making her way toward me with a look of pure love and gratitude on her face, arms extended and ready to embrace me.

I shrunk away from her as though she had slapped me, and her step faltered. Her arms dropped slightly, and her eyes flicked behind me toward Edward. She drew in a sharp breath at the look on his face, her eyes flying back to mine in painful understanding as her arms fell to her sides.

"Bella's not really into being touched right now," Alice volunteered in a wry tone, and I heard both sympathy and a hint of frustration in her voice.

The look on Esme's face made me want to fall into her arms and cry everything out onto her shoulder. So I wrapped my arms tightly around my midsection and took a step back instead, feeling the first tear betray me and slide down my cheek.

"Oh, Bella. Bella, sweetheart, we're so sorry..." One beautiful hand stretched out again, tentatively, to smooth my hair back; and again I shrank from her.

"No," I told her urgently, shaking my head back and forth frantically and backing away, equal parts horrified and angry. How could she act as though nothing had happened? As though she hadn't _left_ me, this beautiful surrogate mother I had so quickly been willing to adopt as my own? The tears welled up in my eyes so thickly that I could barely see her. "_No."_

Carlisle came to stand beside his wife, his eyes filled with the same compassion I remembered. "Bella, I know you don't understand."

He flinched at the look of pure betrayal in my eyes as I turned my gaze to him. "You're right," I told him, more coldly than I had thought possible. "I don't."

Slowly, painfully, my eyes took in the rest of the faces behind them. Rosalie, looking much more miserable than usual - probably at the thought of having me inflicted on her once again. At least I was going to make _her _happy for once. Emmett was there too, looking hurt and confused. I actually felt a small pang for him. Even in my hurt and anger, I couldn't believe Emmett responsible for any of this. If there was one Cullen's shoulder I'd actually consider crying into right then, it was his. And then finally there was Jasper, a look of deep understanding and empathy written all over his face, mingled with guilt. Jasper understood. Of course he did. But he had still left with the rest of them. His understanding of my pain only made his betrayal worse as far as I was concerned.

Pointedly, I ignored all of their waved and murmured greetings and refocused on Edward's 'parents.'

Putting his arm around his wife and glancing briefly over my shoulder at Edward, Carlisle focused back on me with a small, sad smile and a graceful nod. "I suppose we deserve that. But it was never any of our intention to hurt you, Bella. Will you at least allow us to drive you home? Let us try to explain?" Again, he glanced over my shoulder at his first son, his eyes filled with a curious mixture of irritation and understanding mingled with relief and sympathy. "Or give Edward a chance to explain?"

Without question, I knew that this man - out of duty and obligation if nothing else - wouldn't just leave me there alone and stranded. Unlike his son had in the forest. But I still wanted to hear nothing he had to say. Where had his explanations been when I was slowly dying from the numbness? Where had his compassion been then?

"No," I told him stiffly. "I can take care of myself. I've gotten pretty good at that. I'm calling for a cab."

Apparently, that was more than Edward could stand. I suddenly understood that he had only been so restrained up to this point because he fully believed he'd get a chance to have a captive audience on the ride back to Forks so he could plead his case and spin more beautiful lies.

_"No,_" growled his achingly familiar voice; and more quickly than he should have moved in front of so many witnesses, Edward was directly by my side and slightly behind me, blocking my path away from Carlisle. He held his clenched fists closely at his sides, testimony to just how hard he was struggling not to simply reach out and grab me. Alice appeared beside him just as quickly and placed a restraining hand on his arm, and I saw Jasper and Emmett each take a step forward as well. The tone of Edward's voice emphasized just how close he was to losing control; he looked like...well, a vampire. "I'm at least seeing you home, Bella. You're not taking a cab that far by yourself in your condition."

I clenched my teeth. It would be so easy to simply let Edward's protectiveness convince me that he loved me; but I could never make that mistake again. This was simple duty, chivalry on his part...nothing more.

And I wanted no part of it.

I hadn't wanted to have this discussion in front of his family, but my hand had now been forced. Steeling myself, I drew a deep breath and fixed my eyes on his forehead. I couldn't quite look into his eyes.

"I don't believe that's your decision, Edward. I'm no longer your responsibility. What does it matter to you anyway?" It would have been more impressive if I could have snapped it at him, but it came out with no force at all. I just sounded flat, weary...dead.

Edward staggered back a step like I had physically struck him.

"Bella," he began carefully, but fear had taken over his eyes. "What are you saying?" I could see his fists unclenching and reclenching at his side, and knew he was losing the battle not to grab me. I needed to make this swift.

But could I do this? My eyes dropped to a point in the middle of his chest.

"I'm saying that you're free to return to your distractions. I'm fine. I'm glad that I was able to stop you in time, but you don't owe me anything because of it. You're under no obligation to stay here any longer, so please don't make this harder for me." My voice grew stronger, tinged with a hint of bitterness. "You're going to leave again eventually, so just leave. Get it over with."

"Oh, Bella..." This voice came from Esme, I realized quickly.

Edward had hold of me by my waist so fast that it almost made me dizzy, and it was easy to see that his control was stretched to its limit - if he gripped me any harder, I was afraid he'd hurt me. He leaned down, trying desperately to make me meet his eyes, but I refused. When he put his face directly in my line of vision, I simply closed my eyes. I was half tempted to put my hands over my ears, too.

"Isabella Swan, _listen to me_. I'm _not_ going to leave you again - not now, not ever. I don't even think I _can_." He was still trying to get me to look at him, but I just stared at the ground. He made a pained sound that stabbed at my heart despite my coldness. "Please, Bella, don't ask me to do that. Leaving you is the one thing I can't do again."

"I don't believe you," I whispered, a tear slipping out of my eye and running down my cheek. If anything, he stepped closer, his mouth opening to protest. I pushed him away, but it was pointless. He didn't budge. "I don't believe you, Edward. Please let me go."

"_No! _Bella, please...I _can't_." He sounded strangled. His hands came up to frame my face, cupping my cheeks tenderly in his cold hands as he whispered urgently. "What can I do to make you believe me? Name it. I'll do anything, Bella. Anything."

Why did he want so badly to convince me of a lie? Did he _want_ to break me again? Suddenly angry, I let instinct take over. I couldn't bear this. How could he not see that? My arms flew up to knock his hands away, but it was like trying to knock down a brick wall with a spaghetti noodle. He never moved.

"Edward, dammit, _let go of me!" _I screamed none too quietly, drawing some attention.

Carlisle took a step closer. "Son." His voice was gentle and commanding at the same time. "Let her go."

He didn't of his own accord, but he did at least finally let me knock his hands away and back several steps away from him. Momentarily empowered, my resolve returned. "I'm going home now. Alone."

"Bella, I _love_ you," Edward told me desperately, tears in his voice even if they could never flow from his eyes. "I always have. I never stopped."

I knew I should just turn and walk away, right out to the front of the airport and hail a cab. I tried to ignore the fact that Edward's hands still reached out to me, that his eyes implored me not to do this. I couldn't do it. Suddenly, my traitorous mind could picture me throwing myself into his widespread arms and begging him to never leave again. This much anger wasn't natural for me, and it was exhausting. I knew Edward saw it in my eyes as I weakened. Relief flooded his beautiful face, and I took a step forward toward him, knowing that I was walking right into more danger than my heart could take. This was emotional suicide, because when he left after this I would be doomed.

Danger. A danger that I couldn't resist anymore.

But just before I made contact, I heard the very last voice I had expected to hear, ringing out across the airport.

"_Bella!" _

I recognized that voice and instantly gravitated toward it.

One thought flooded my mind...

Safety. A safety that I couldn't turn down anymore.

I spun to see the most welcome sight I could imagine: Jacob was all the way down the long corridor opposite the terminal, running at full tilt toward me, barely cognizant of the much smaller people who littered the long hallway. He knocked several of them out of the way with no apology.

I didn't know how he could possibly be here so fast from La Push, less than five minutes after I hung up with him, and I didn't care. Jacob represented safety from the pain, and he was _t__here. _The strength returned to my wearied legs as I took off running in his direction.

"Jake!"

He covered three times the ground that I did in the following few seconds, and I was probably only 25 feet from Edward when I slammed into Jake's chest with enough force to knock the wind out of me. I couldn't have cared less. He grabbed me before I could bounce off, and suddenly I was wrapped up in warm, safe Jacob. I threw my arms around him and held on for all I was worth, realizing at some point that my feet weren't even on the ground - not even close. His arms were like steel bands - _hot_ steel bands - crushing me to him, and one hand was tangling in my hair in an impatient bid to get me even closer. I obliged him, burying my head in his shoulder. "Jake," I managed to sob, and he pulled me even tighter, his breath coming in shallow, panicked gasps somewhere near my ear, hot on my skin.

"Easy, Bella, it's okay. You're all right now. I've got ya." His voice was so unsteady I wasn't sure who he was trying to convince - me or himself.

I felt his head lift from where he had buried it in my hair, and knew he was looking over my head at the Cullens, keeping a watchful eye on them. I just wanted to forget them for the moment, and Jake was the only one who had ever come close to making that a possibility; so I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on his unique woodsy scent.

"Jesus, Bella, don't you ever do anything like this again," he was murmuring in my ear, and I realized he was shaking from head to toe as a stream of words poured across his lips. "I mean it, Bella. Next time I'm not coming after you." He was lying, and we both knew it. "I spent the last three days thinking you were dead and trying to figure out how the hell to get to Italy so I could bring you home anyway. I was going to sell the Rabbit but it wasn't gonna be enough. When I started seriously thinking about what bank to rob, I finally just gave up and told Charlie where you were and then blackmailed him into bringing me along. And Sam's probably going to kill me."

I winced against his shoulder. Even if I was already dead, Jacob had been determined to bring me home. It was a morbid thought, but one that clearly illustrated what he'd been through...and what he'd been willing to do for me. "I'm sorry, Jake," I whispered into his neck, planting a grateful kiss there before I even realized what I was doing; and I'd have had to actually _be_ dead not to feel the shudder that wracked his huge body and the way goosebumps broke out on his skin.

He let my feet back down to the ground but never broke the embrace, his arms still wrapped tight around me as he now leaned over me. If it weren't for his arms holding me up, his weight would have pushed me to the ground. "You're forgiven, Bella." I was so close I could feel it when his jaw clenched, and I knew he was staring at Edward. "But if you think I'm ever letting you go back near _him_ again without one hell of a fight, you've lost your damn mind."

Before I could even tell him it was a moot point anyway - that Edward had no intention of staying - I heard a vicious snarl from behind me and Jacob suddenly tensed as he stared over my head. With no warning he spun us around, putting me behind him as he adopted a clearly defensive posture between me and the Cullens.

It wasn't easy to see around Jacob. One of his arms extended behind him and pressed against my waist, doing his level best to keep me directly behind him. When I finally was able to poke my head around far enough to see, what I saw almost made me pass out.

At least 10 feet closer than he'd been before, each of Edward's arms was now being held by one of his brothers. I could see even from a distance that Jasper was trying to work his magic and infuse him with calm. I could also see it wasn't working. Carlisle stood with his back to us in front of Edward, pushing him back. The three of them seemed to be having a difficult time holding him. Esme watched me sadly while Alice stood at Jasper's side trying desperately to help calm Edward. I couldn't hear what she was saying to him. Rosalie simply stared at the ground, looking like she felt a little...guilty.

Jake had relaxed considerably at the sight of Edward being restrained, so I could only imagine what he had seen before the other Cullens grabbed Edward. Had Edward intended to go after Jacob? Why? Or had he intended to finally give in to his pull for my blood? Would Edward kill me? I still didn't believe that, but I hadn't believed he could leave me like he did either.

I had buried my face in Jake's back to keep from watching, but he suddenly spun around to face me, effortlessly turning us both sideways where he could keep one eye on me and one on Edward. Gripping my arms, he pulled me far enough away from his chest to look at me, studying the tear tracks on my face and the way I trembled. His eyes turned impossibly blacker. "Bella." His entire body shook as those coal-black eyes raked up and down me. "Did he hurt you?"

Jake's voice was deadly, and I understood what he was asking - and why. He was just looking for a reason. I needed to get him out of the airport, quickly. A werewolf versus vampire fight in the middle of Sea-Tac would be a little difficult to explain.

"No! Jake, please...just get me out of here. I want to go home with _you_."

Jacob hesitated, glancing over his shoulder in the direction he had come; and for a split second, I believed he was actually considering sneaking me out of the airport and doing exactly that.

But he was a second too late; because his traveling companion - the one that he had left standing at the gate for their flight to Italy when he realized I was in the same airport and took off at a dead sprint to find me - had finally caught up to him.

"Bella!"

Crap. Charlie. Rounding the corner, dragging what was probably both his and Jacob's bags. Right into the same space as both Edward and Jacob. And me, of course.

This wasn't good.

But it could be worse...at least they hadn't actually got on the plane. Charlie doesn't even like to leave the zip code. He really would have killed us all if he'd flown to Italy for nothing.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Chapter 3: La Push

**Author's Note:**

**Thank you so much to the 3 who have reviewed: TeamCullenGuys, MyBeautifulBella, and dsfe. You have no idea how encouraging that is! It's so nice to know someone's reading this. :) **

Chapter 3 - La Push

If Jacob was trying to make me feel even more indebted for life to him than I already was, he succeeded in a big way when he intercepted Charlie and went to bat for me. For one thing, if there was anybody Charlie was more irritated at than me at the moment, it was Jacob. Well, other than Edward of course. But that was a completely different story. Other than an initial glare, Charlie refused to acknowledge the entire Cullen family. Ignoring the Cullens was sort of becoming a Swan family trademark in the last hour.

After Charlie tried to bear-hug the life out of me while simultaneously threatening to kill me, Jacob managed to pull him off to the side. I could hear him trying to sell Charlie on the idea of letting me leave with him and come stay at La Push with him and Billy for a while. I was fairly certain it wasn't going to work, because I could also hear Charlie questioning Jacob's sanity if he thought for one second that I was going anywhere other than straight home for the rest of my life under Charlie's watchful eye.

I'm pretty sure that Edward didn't actually intend to _help_ Jacob's cause. If he had had blood in his body, he was so furious that it would have been boiling during my entire exchange with Jacob. His brothers still each held an arm, although after Charlie arrived he relaxed a little and stopped actively trying to break free and get to me...at least until he also heard Jacob angling for me to come stay with him.

He almost succeeded in ripping his arms out of Jasper and Emmett's grasps, and his voice was so fierce that I feared Charlie would realize he wasn't entirely normal.

"NO! She's not going anywhere with that _dog_! Bella!" I turned in his direction, wide eyed, defensiveness for Jacob instantly welling up within me. Jacob, after all, wasn't the one who had left me and hurt me. My mouth opened to angrily ask Edward exactly when _he _started caring about who I spent my time with...but Charlie beat me to the punch.

"And _you_ don't tell me what to do about my own daughter," Charlie thundered, pointing a threatening finger in Edward's direction. "Jacob saved her life after _you_ left her, so you can keep the name calling to yourself." His eyes flashed murderously at Edward before flicking back to Jacob in obvious thought, and I realized there was some hope of my leaving with Jake after all.

"In fact..." Charlie started, and I could see parental responsibility warring with the urge to prove a point to the selfish punk that had hurt his daughter. All he needed was a good reason - a fact which Jacob picked up on immediately and took full advantage of.

"At least let me drive her home, Charlie. She's exhausted. I'm sure you have some things to say to the Cullens, and Bella doesn't need to be here for that. I'll take her to Billy's, and you can meet us back there. You know I won't let her out of my sight." Since when could Jacob sound so grown up? Sam's influence came out in him more and more, and I wasn't usually sure how well I liked it. But at this exact moment, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

Charlie's eyes narrowed as they flashed over to the Cullens, and I knew I had won...well, Jacob had won. Charlie definitely relished the idea of having a chance to give Edward or at least Carlisle a piece of his mind without my interference. "I've got to do something about these tickets anyway."

Edward looked more desperate by the second, but not to avoid Charlie. Mine and Jacob's plan seemed to be terrifying to him. "No! Bella, listen to me, you can't do this! It's not safe!"

Edward's final outburst just cemented it. "Here." Charlie reached in his pocket, and made sure Edward saw him flip the keys to Jacob. Turning to me, he gave me a very stern look. "Jacob picked me up in Billy's truck anyway, so I may as well let him drive it back home. I'll find my own way back to Forks. But I'm coming straight to La Push to get you when I get home, Bella. And then we're going to have a long talk."

I managed to nod, desperate not to do anything to make him change his mind. It felt like my survival depended on leaving with Jacob. "I'll behave, Dad. I'm not going anywhere until you get there."

Charlie glowered at me. "You're sure as hell not."

Carlisle stepped away from Edward toward Charlie, hands held out in a conciliatory gesture, obviously trying to bridge the gap between the Swan and Cullen families. "Chief Swan, our family arrived in separate vehicles. My wife and I would be glad to give you a ride back to Forks."

I think Charlie might have turned that down too, but again Edward did little to help his own cause.

"Carlisle, have you gone mad?" Edward raved, again pulling against his brother's arms. Alice had stepped in to take Carlisle's place pushing him backward and trying to settle him down. "You're going to go along with this? Have you lost your mind? You know what kind of danger she'll be in from that..."

"Son! Enough." Carlisle's face was menacing, enough to scare a human half to death. I watched Charlie closely, but he just seemed somewhat pacified to see Edward getting in trouble. But then, I suspect that if Carlisle had ripped Edward limb from limb right there in the middle of the airport, Charlie might have just applauded. "We'll discuss this at home," Carlisle continued authoritatively, like an angry dad. Taking a step closer to his son, he lowered his voice and spoke less angrily but I still heard him - which I knew meant that he wanted me to hear. "You're making a spectacle of yourself, Edward. Considering the terms upon which you were both allowed to go free, don't you think that's equally as unsafe for her?"

My eyes widened...the Volturi. Carlisle was afraid Edward would do something to bring them all down on us. The thought of them in Seattle, or anywhere else close to people that I knew and loved, was enough to make me shudder.

Edward must have agreed. He closed his mouth, but he continued to stare with pure hatred at Jacob. I knew that if either Jasper or Emmett let go at all, Edward would be free of them in a heartbeat and invading my personal space again - and that Jacob wouldn't take that very kindly.

"Come on, Bells." Now that his terror for my safety was over and he had won a victory, Jacob was the happy-go-lucky if somewhat arrogant 16-year-old that I knew. His face was more than a little smug at my 'choosing' him over Edward, and he took just a little too much delight in throwing his arm over my shoulder and tugging me up close to his side. "Let's get you back to my place." That choice of words and accompanying smirk had _definitely _been for Edward's benefit. If it hadn't have been such an intense situation, I'd have rolled my eyes. At least he wasn't in wolf form. He might have tried to pee on me.

Edward didn't find the exchange quite so trivial. He growled, right in the middle of a public airport. He actually _growled_.

Carlisle looked as though his patience was wearing very, very thin. "Jasper, Emmett, get him out of here and take him home. Now. Rosalie and Alice will go with you. Esme and I will wait with Chief Swan and take him to his house."

"Bella!" Edward made one last ditch effort as his brothers started to drag him off, and it suddenly hit me...this was the last time I would ever see him.

"Wait!" I called, unsure if I was talking to Jacob, Edward, Jasper and Emmett, or possibly even myself.

Shrugging out from under Jacob's arm, I turned to look back at Edward. Jasper and Emmett must have assumed I was talking to them, so they stopped long enough to let us talk. I barely even noticed them. Suddenly the only person in the entire room was Edward, so far as I was concerned. Every other sight and sound melted away and all I could see or hear was him. My breath caught in my throat, and the hole in my chest ripped a little wider. It made me wish I hadn't pushed Jacob's arm away. I needed him close to get through this, but either way I couldn't let my last words to Edward be ones of anger. Steeling myself, I just let myself be honest.

"You don't have to apologize or feel guilty, Edward," I told him through a throat that was so tight I felt like I was choking on the words. "I don't hold you responsible for anything. It was..." I couldn't even find the words. "It was wonderful to see you again," I settled for telling him softly around the lump in my throat.

Grabbing, threatening, and losing his temper hadn't worked, so Edward tried soft pleading. "Bella...Bella, please don't go - not like this. Not with _him._ You don't understand. Please just stay and let me talk to you. I promise I won't touch you. I just want to talk to you, Bella, I need you to understand..."

Charlie looked like he couldn't decide whether to draw his gun or vomit. "Oh for God's... just get her the hell out of here, Jacob," he said with more venom than I've ever heard from my laidback father.

And Jacob was more than happy to do so. He very strongly wrapped his arm back around my shoulder and pulled my resistant body away with him, as I struggled to look back over my shoulder and catch just one more glimpse of the haunted, tortured eyes of a man who claimed he loved me but had done everything possible to prove otherwise over the past seven months.

ooo

I remembered very little between that terminal and Billy's truck. I'm pretty sure that at some point I went completely catatonic and Jacob picked me up and simply carried me.

I also have very little memory of the drive from the airport to La Push. I know that Jacob set me down in the passenger seat, but that before he even had the truck cranked I was practically in his lap in the middle of the truck, with my face buried in his warm, huge shoulder.

His initial panic and then his smugness with Edward had both subsided, and it was _my_ Jacob who was behind the wheel of the truck. As I clung to him trembling, the tears finally came and I could finally let them go. His right arm wrapped tight around me, his head leaning down to rest his cheek on top of my head. Concern filled his voice, and for just a minute all of his bravado in the airport was gone and he sounded all of his 16 years: like a scared kid trying to be a man.

"Aw, come on, Bells, please don't cry."

I just sobbed harder, my fingers gripping his t-shirt so tightly that it bunched up just above the waist of his jeans. He swallowed so hard that I actually heard it, even more concern flooding his voice as he spoke.

"What happened over there?" he whispered, more to himself than me. "Bella?" he finally asked, his lips moving in my hair. "Come on, you're kind of scaring me. Are you okay? Please talk to me."

A long moment passed as I got my sobs under control, and I focused on the way Jacob's breathing seemed unsteady. He truly _was_ scared for me, I realized. Finally, I managed to nod into his shoulder. "I'm fine. I'm not hurt. But please, Jacob, I don't want to talk about it."

I felt him nod in return against my head. He seemed to be struggling for what to say. "Then what _do_ you want?" he asked gently.

"I don't care. Just talk to me. About anything."

That was one thing I loved about Jacob. He didn't ask me any more questions about that. He just started driving and did exactly what I asked. In fact, I didn't say another word all the way to La Push, and I didn't have to. I didn't have to think, either, about Edward or anything else. I just lost myself in Jacob's rich voice, listening to him tell me 100 different things about the Rabbit, Quil and Embry's latest bets, Paul's most recent losses of control and even some of the Quileute legends I'd yet to hear. He didn't say a thing about Victoria or vampires, for which I was eternally grateful. We both knew I was safe from Victoria in Jacob's presence, so there was nothing _to_ say.

When he finally stopped the truck outside his house and opened the driver's door, I grabbed hold of him a little tighter and whimpered in protest. He gave a soft chuckle at that. "Oh, Bells. I'm not sure what to do with you like this."

It seemed pretty simple to me. "Just don't let me go."

Jacob was so still for so long that I eventually looked up to see him. He seemed to be fighting a battle with himself, and for one horrifying second I thought he was going to try to kiss me. There was no part of me that could deal with that at the moment, and it seemed that he realized that. He looked away and cleared his throat, and when he looked back at me his eyes and voice were both completely serious, hinting at a deeper meaning to his simple reply:

"I won't."

Taking me completely at my word, Jacob took me with him when he slid out of the driver's door. Swinging me right up into his arms before my feet ever touched the ground, he made his way for the front door.

"What's Billy going to think?" I managed to mutter into his shoulder. The little bit of sleep I'd had on the plane was wearing off, and exhaustion was beginning to creep back in.

"He's going to think he's glad you're alive. And that he's glad to see his truck. I kind of stole it." There was a grin in Jacob's voice.

"Does he know?" I wasn't talking about the truck.

"Yeah, Bell. He knows everything. If he had the money, he'd have given it to me himself. For Charlie's sake. And yours."

"What's he going to think about me staying here with you?"

Another soft chuckle. "So long as he doesn't get an ear full from Charlie about it? He'll probably just be trying to figure out how to high-five me without you seeing. And then he'll threaten to kick my ass if I try anything. Billy adores you."

I was starting to shiver, despite Jake's warm body and the fact that it wasn't really that cold outside. My voice quivered as badly as my body. "I'm glad you didn't end up selling the Rabbit, Jake. I'm glad it wasn't enough money."

His arms tightened on me, and he paused in front of the front door of the house for a second, not wanting to let go of me long enough to open it.

"It's just a car, Bella. It's not _that_ special."

Somehow, I missed the implication of that completely. "Yeah, but you love it."

"Yeah, of course I do, but...Bella, I..."

Jacob hesitated, drew a deep shaky breath, and I panicked. Suddenly I knew exactly what he had just meant and how he intended to reply, and I just couldn't let him go there. "We should go in, Jake."

He exhaled just as shakily as he had inhaled. "Right."

ooo

It turned out Jacob was right. Billy was _very_ relieved to see me...and his truck. He was also thrilled at the idea of me staying there, for however short a time. He even promised to find a way to keep Charlie busy at the house for a while so I could stay longer. I knew, of course, that Billy and Jake both liked the idea of me being somewhere the Cullens couldn't go. Normally that would have irritated me...but at the moment, that was one of the best qualities of Billy, Jacob, _and _La Push.

Neither of them could know exactly how badly I wanted to stay. If I went home and Edward came to my room to tell me all the reasons he was disappearing again, I might never recover. I just couldn't face that thought. I'd rather keep my head buried in the sandy beaches of La Push, or better yet in Jacob's strong chest. So long as I was here, Edward didn't exist. And if he didn't exist, I couldn't know when he left. He couldn't hurt me any more.

I could barely stand to break contact with Jacob. In some part of my brain it registered just how very badly I was leading him on. But I couldn't help it. I needed him to hold me together. And I suspected that one day, no matter how inconceivable it felt to me at the time, Jacob would be the one to put me back together in every way there was anyway. I knew now that Edward wouldn't stay forever. I had to start thinking about my future without him.

I could hear Billy's repeated whispers to Jacob that I was in shock, but I disagreed. I was simply trying to stop the numbness from coming back.

Muttering something about hoping Charlie left his gun at home, Jacob finally gave up on trying to get me settled and then leave my side. He ended up crawling right into his tiny little bed with me, wrapping my shivering body and his overly warm one up in a light blanket and spooning me tightly against him as I went to sleep.

ooo

The doorbell woke me up several hours later when Charlie arrived at the Black home, followed by mumbles from Charlie's characteristically quiet voice and Billy's suddenly very loud one. Vaguely, I was aware that Billy was stalling him and warning us. I tried to spring up, but Jacob's arm only tightened around my middle as footsteps approached the room. I was fully awake and aware by the time Charlie reached the door, but Jacob seemed determined that I was staying put. So I did what any 18-year-old girl would do knowing her dad was about to find her in bed with her opposite-sex friend: I pretended I was still sound asleep.

Charlie almost did blow a gasket when he initially walked into Jake's room; but Billy handled him like a pro, proving that maybe some of Jake's perfect performance at the airport earlier was less related to Sam and more related to genetics.

"She was in a bad way when they got here, Charlie. Hysterical. And I've never seen anybody shiver like that. It's a good thing Jake was here."

I knew full well Jacob wasn't asleep anymore either, but he seemed to agree that pretending to be was the best way to go. His light 'snore' in my ear was so ridiculous that it almost made me want to giggle. Maybe I was still hysterical.

"Did he really have to put her in bed with him?"

"That was my idea," Billy soothed. "It seemed like she needed to get warm and nothing else worked. Door's been open, and I sat with them until they both fell asleep. Don't you trust me, Charlie?"

Apparently it wasn't just pixie-like vampires that could work magic on Charlie. Sly old Quileute elders in wheelchairs could play him too. He deflated like a popped balloon. "Of course I do. I trust Jake too. You know that." He sighed heavily. "I just haven't seen her in three days, Billy. I'm a little on edge. She scared the hell out of me."

I could picture Billy nodding. "She's been through a lot, Charlie. I worry about her." After a slight hesitation, Billy quickly climbed to near the very top of my 'favorite people' list, even if I knew his sole motivation was still keeping me away from the Cullens. For the moment, our interests were aligned on that topic. "You know, I realize you're upset with her, but she seems kind of fragile right now. And she's at ease here. I wouldn't want to overstep, but she's welcome to stay as long as she likes. I'll look out for her, Charlie. She's safe here."

Charlie took _forever _to answer, but I somehow managed not to give myself away by peeking. "Maybe just for tonight," Charlie agreed reluctantly. "I hate to wake her up, and to be honest I don't have a clue yet what to say to her." He sighed so heavily that a lump formed in my throat. "I really just want my little girl back."

Billy made a sympathetic noise, and I heard a sound that was probably his hand slapping Charlie on the back. "For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing. She's a teenager, after all. If you come down on her too hard, she'll just take off again. I'll take good care of her, I promise." There was a brief pause, and I could feel Charlie staring a hole through me and Jake again. Sure enough, Billy handled that too. "As soon as I hear either one of them move the first time, I'll kick Jake out and make him sleep on the couch."

Charlie sighed again, this time in resignation. "Yeah, you do that." A long moment passed where I couldn't hear anything, but I could feel Charlie's eyes burning into me. Finally, he spoke again, and his choked up voice caused an answering lump to form in my throat. "I'll be back tomorrow morning. Tell her..." Charlie was silent for a moment. "Just tell her...well, never mind."

No sooner had the front door closed behind Charlie than Billy's voice called down the hall. "I gave my word and I intend to keep it. So you better not let me hear either of you move." I could hear his wheelchair rolling to the door, and then Jake's bedroom door was pulled closed. Without a second thought, I rolled over to face Jacob and buried my face in his chest before falling back into a dreamless sleep.

ooo

Charlie didn't make it back the next morning. He got called to a car crash with a fatality first thing in the morning, and the investigation took up the better part of the day. Paperwork took up the rest. And Billy's smooth talking convinced Charlie maybe it was all for the best and he should give me another day to recover before he swooped in to start my punishment.

With Billy working Charlie and with the help of some other well-timed police business, I managed to spend two full days almost completely attached to Jacob. When he would leave my side for even a minute, the darkness would start to close in. I even started feeling a little more charitable toward Sam Uley, whom I was sure was giving Jacob a break by letting him stay home to babysit me.

Eventually, I stopped seeing the faces of the people in that tunnel in Volterra every single time I closed my eyes. But nothing could make me stop desperately looking for Edward's face every time I woke up, and then immediately falling apart when he wasn't there. To my surprise and relief, Jacob graciously didn't say one bitter word about that part, even though I know he knew who I was looking for every time I jolted awake and he also knew who my tears were for. He just wrapped his arms tighter around me and rested his chin on top of my head every single time, whispering Jacob-like reassuring nonsense until my heartrate slowed and the tears stopped. By the second morning, I started to feel a little better. My Jacob immersion program was working.

Late that second evening, Billy warned us that Charlie was on his way to come get me. Billy had some type of sports DVD up his sleeve to stall him with, but Jake and I took the hint and got out of the house. If Billy had time to stall Charlie and get him good and relaxed before Jake and I showed back up, he'd stay to visit for a while and I'd at least get to stay that much longer.

Jacob held my hand firmly in his as we walked along the familiar beach. When the shivers started again, he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me close as we walked. When the tears came, he gave up on the walking altogether and just dropped down and pulled me onto his lap right there in the wet sand.

"I don't want to go home," were the first tearful words I managed, feeling like a 5-year-old.

"You won't be alone for long, Bells," Jake promised. "Every single chance I get, I'll be there. Charlie doesn't even have to know."

I flinched at that unintentional reminder of Edward. Jacob misinterpreted completely, barking out an amused laugh. "Oh, come on. Give me some credit, Bella. I managed to get you over here to La Push with me, didn't I? I won't get caught. And it's not like you're going to get _more_ grounded even if I do."

Rather than attempt an answer, I just buried my head deeper in his shoulder and held on for dear life. This time he got the picture completely, and with a sigh hitched me back up higher against his chest from where I had slid down some. He had become accustomed to this type of behavior over the last 48 hours, and it crossed my mind that he had to be exhausted. His voice was hard when he spoke into my hair.

"Treaty or not, if he comes near you again I think I'm going to kill him."

If I'd really thought there was any chance of that happening - Edward coming near me again, that is - Jacob's words would have horrified me. But since Edward was probably already chasing distractions across some other continent by that point, it didn't really matter so much.

Jake held me until there was absolutely no choice in going back to Billy's, where I accepted my fate graciously and crawled into Charlie's cruiser. I was still so tired that I couldn't help but lean over and rest my head against Charlie's shoulder the second he cranked up the car, effectively cutting off the lecture he'd been gearing up for for two full days.

"Jeez, Bells," he sighed instead, and I knew right then I was going to get grounded but get to skip the lecture. I could tell he was shaking his head in frustration and relief. "Let's just go home, kiddo."

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**Please, please take a moment and review. It is very, very much appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4: Home

Chapter 4: Home

I trudged up the stairs and into my room after one last gruff reminder from Charlie that I was grounded for the rest of eternity plus 10 years, followed by another bear hug. I had no desire to see the inside of my room and all the memories it held. I barely even crossed the threshold of my room before I threw my bag down, pushed the door closed, leaned my back against it and slid to the floor. Planting my feet flat on the floor, I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face in them. If I didn't _look_ at the absence of Edward in my room, I didn't have to face it.

At least, not until a clear, high voice rang out from the direction of my bed.

"Bella, if you didn't look so miserable and Edward wouldn't turn me into ashes, I think I'd actually be tempted to _kill_ you right now. Or at least shake you."

My head shot up so fast that it hit the door behind me with a thud. My wide eyes narrowed in a wince of pain, and I reached a tentative hand up to feel the back of my head. It'd be just my luck if it was bleeding. "Ow," I said softly. Could things get any worse?

I heard an exasperated sigh, and then Alice's crystal clear voice spoke again from much closer - right next to me, in fact, where she suddenly knelt. "Okay, that wasn't my fault, and you'd better tell him that if he asks. Bella, do you have any _idea_ how worried we've all been?"

I felt the hurt bitterness well back up in me, reminding me that I didn't trust Alice anymore. My first impulse had been to grab her in a hug like the last time she appeared out of nowhere. Pushing Alice away wasn't easy, but I was going to have to try. After all, Edward had taught me the importance of a clean break, hadn't he?

Keeping my tone carefully empty, I pushed up to my feet and walked away from her. "Well you can all stop worrying. I'm fine."

Alice made a disbelieving sound. "You're fine. With the werewolves? Bella, that's anything but fine! You clearly don't understand how dangerous young werewolves can be. Add to that the fact that your future disappears every time you're around Jacob Black, and that Edward _knows _that because he's constantly in my head, and we've all had quite a situation on our hands the past few days."

Throwing my bag on the bed, I started unpacking it just to give myself something to do so I didn't have to make eye contact with her. "I don't know how many different ways I can say it, Alice. I'm not any of your 'situation' to handle."

Alice suddenly appeared right in front of me, taking the bag from my hands and giving me no choice but to meet her eyes. I gasped at how black they were and how disheveled her clothes and hair were. I'd never seen Alice look anything other than picture perfect, even in Italy. Ignoring my gasp, she shook her head in frustration. "Try telling that to Edward. If he heard you say that, he'd lose his mind. I mean...more than he has already. Bella, you need to _listen_ to me. Aren't you even going to ask me where he is?"

It was my turn to give a snort of disbelief. "Would you actually tell me if I did?"

She held my eyes very seriously, and it was becoming more difficult by the moment to ignore the pain in hers. "Yes. I would."

Steeling myself, I was nastier than necessary only because I was beginning to weaken. "Well let me guess and save you the trouble. I'm sure he's chasing after his distractions somewhere in South America, or maybe Russia. Alaska. Wherever is the farthest place he can get from me. Right?"

Her eyes flashed angrily, and she released me and took two steps away, presumably to get control of herself before she snapped and turned me into a mid-afternoon snack. Her hand went to her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose in a gesture that I could easily guess where she had picked it up.

"Honestly, you're as stubborn as he is! I don't know which one of you is more maddening. No, Bella, he's at home. But only because three of us at a time are keeping him there. It's a full time job, believe me."

I felt like she had just slugged me in the face at the realization that Edward would be long gone _already_ if his family weren't holding him captive. That hurt. It was just a confirmaton of what I already knew, but it still hurt worse than anything I'd ever imagined possible. I wrapped my arms around my waist, walking backward until I felt my back come up against the solid resistance of the wall. I needed it to hold me up. My reaction seemed incomprehensible to Alice.

"Bella, what the hell is the matter with you?"

My mouth was so dry it felt like it was filled with cotton balls. "Let him go, Alice. If he wants to leave town so badly, just let him go."

She stared at me, frozen in place in that sometimes unnerving way the Cullens had of going completely motionless. After a moment, she shook her head in disbelief.

"You really have no idea, do you?"

"Of what?" I managed to choke out, barely paying her any attention.

Her eyes softened, and she sat down on my bed. All of her irritation melted away before my eyes. "Of just how badly he needs you. He's not trying to leave town, Bella. He's trying to get to _you_."

Old habits die hard. Desperation flooded me, filling me with anger. I surged a few steps forward, momentarily forgetting how desperate I was to keep him away. "And you're stopping him? Why? Alice..."

"Well for one thing," she cut me off, "Edward's not really interested in treaty lines at the moment. He's only interested in getting to you _wherever_ you are, and especially if that's with Jacob Black."

That got my attention, and suddenly I was desperately clutching at the shoulders of one very thirsty-looking vampire. "No! Alice, he can't break the treaty!"

She gently pushed me away. "Bella? Breathe. I'm well aware of that. That's why we chased him down. He broke away at the airport before Jasper and Emmett could shove him in the car, and I won't even tell you how he got all the way to Forks. If he had bothered to hunt since God knows when and he wasn't so weak, we'd have never caught him. Jasper and Rosalie tackled him less than 100 feet from the border to La Push."

My eyes were wide and I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate. "He was that close to La Push?" I could only imagine what would have happened if he'd come crashing into Jacob's house or onto the beach. Since he didn't want me anyway, I doubted he'd truly care about the fact that I'd been wrapped up in Jacob's arms in just about every location he might have found us - including in Jake's bed, however innocently - but it would have still been an ugly situation. Jake would have been furious.

Alice didn't blink. She seemed determined to make sure I understood this point. "He never even slowed down. He was about to start a war, Bella, and he didn't even think twice about it. Helping drag him back home was one of the less pleasant experiences I've had in this life. Keeping him in his room and staying in one piece in the process ranks near the top of that list as well," she told me wryly. "Edward's always been a little overdramatic, but he's starting to try my patience this time." She gave me a scathing, somewhat superior look, softened somewhat by the singsong quality of her next words: "As are you."

I was reeling. Rational thought seemed like a distant memory. "What does he want?"

Again, Alice seemed utterly exasperated with me and I couldn't fathom why. "How can you have seen the look on his face ever since you found him in Italy and still ask me that question? Isn't it obvious, Bella? Edward wants _you_. Why do you think I'm here right now? He's been completely frantic these last two days, terrified because I couldn't see your future. At this point he's not going to believe you're safe until he sees you with his own two eyes. I'm begging you to come back with me and just _talk_ to him."

I thought I was going to pass out at the very suggestion, and Alice clearly realized that. She started backpedaling immediately. "Or you don't even have to talk to him - just let him see you through the window. I can get you out tonight after Charlie's asleep, and have you back before he wakes up. We can do the whole thing in less than 10 minutes."

I skittered away from Alice back toward the wall, desperately. "No! I'm not going to your house, Alice. Don't ask me to do that." The last time I'd been in their house, my entire world had fallen apart.

"Okay - okay," she soothed, seeming to actually understand my reluctance on that topic. She sighed heavily. "Well we definitely can't bring him _here _either. We'd never be able to keep him quiet enough to fool Charlie. Subtlety's not high on Edward's list of concerns at the moment."

With a sick feeling, I realized that if I wouldn't go to him, she simply intended to find a way to bring him to me. But I was done being a pushover when it came to the Cullen family. "Alice, I don't know if I can face him at all," I spoke up. "I'm not sure I can...take that. And to be perfectly honest, I really don't feel up to seeing _any _of you."

My hostility toward her didn't take her by surprise like it had on the plane. "Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am. If I had it to do over again I'd never have gone along with it. I told him a thousand times that he was an idiot."

I didn't relent at all, but the tears filling my eyes robbed me of some of my fierceness. "But you still left. You _abandoned _me."

She met my gaze without flinching, and I knew that Alice, at least, was done apologizing. "He was hurting so badly, Bella, and it was the only way I could help him at all. So yes, I went against my better judgment. It was a mistake."

Her reference to _his_ pain gave me the same dual reaction as it had earlier - it hurt me for him, and pissed me off at the same time. At the end of the day, he was still the one who'd had a choice - something he had utterly denied me.

Alice obviously saw my anger in my expression. Crossing to where I stood by the wall, she placed her hands lightly on my shoulders. "Listen to me. You have every right to be angry, with Edward, with me, with all of us. If we could fix it we would, but the past is the past. We can't change any of that now. Edward's my brother, but my concern right now is actually _you_, Bella. I _don't_ want you to throw away what I already know would be a very long, happy future if you can get past this. My brother loves you. More than you can possibly imagine. _I_ love you too. We all do."

I'd have loved to point out that _that_ was untrue, because in what twisted universe could somebody put me, Rosalie, and love all in the same sentence? But I had far better ammo than that; and considering that I was _literally_ backed into a corner and felt in danger of being exposed to Edward when I was far too vulnerable to withstand him, I was willing to use whatever ammo I had. At this point, I was simply fighting for survival.

"Maybe that's true, Alice. But you aren't the only ones. Jacob loves me too. You can't see my future with him, so how do you know it wouldn't be just as happy as the one you say I could have with Edward...or that I could have with Edward until he decides to leave me again?"

_"Great." _Alice's sarcasm surprised me, giving her the advantage for a second. I looked at her quizzically, and she simply put her hands on her hips as she rolled her eyes at me. "You're right. Jacob loves you. You could marry a dog and have a litter of puppies and happily smell horrible for the rest of your life. I know that's true, you know it's true, and Edward's probably guessed. But could you please not say things like that to me? Do you have any _idea_ how hard it is to keep him out of my head and keep him from hearing that you said things like that? He's going to be enough of a pain when he smells you on me without also hearing something that'll drive him mad."

"She's right, though," came a voice that filled my entire soul with relief, followed by the soft thud of bare feet landing on my floor by the window.

"Jake!"

He was at my side almost instantly with his arm protectively around me, dwarfing me next to him. But his eyes were fixed on Alice in a deadly glare. With a sudden jolt, I realized that the '_she'_ he was talking about was _me_ - that _I _was right; which could only mean that Jacob had just heard what I said to Alice about him.

Uneasiness filled me. I'd only invoked Jake's love for the sake of argument; I'd _never_ intended him to hear me talking about a future with him. Yes, I knew how Jacob felt about me. I even knew that if it wasn't for Edward, Jake most likely _was_ my future. But I hadn't made any decisions yet - not that Jake would know that from what I'd just said. He had clearly taken it as a proclamation of feelings I wasn't even sure I was capable of.

His arm around me was even more possessive and protective than usual - now that I'd given him every reason to believe he _had_ a claim, he was damn well going to stake it. When he spoke to Alice, his voice dripped hatred.

"Too bad you're not the one that can read minds. I'd love to show you _exactly_ what he did to her. But the important thing is that he's not getting the chance to do it again. Bella knows I'd _never_ do that to her."

Alice sneered, her lips curled back in a snarl. "No. You'll just rip her to shreds the first time you lose your temper. That's _so_ much better."

I could feel Jake begin to tremble, and he strained forward toward Alice. "I _won't_ hurt her. But you're right about one thing - even the worst I could do to her _is _better than what he's already done. It's better than what he _wants_ to do. At least I'm not going to break her heart or turn her into a bloodsucking excuse for a..."

"Jake!" Ducking out from under his arm, I turned to face him with a hand in the center of his chest. "Calm down! Please!"

He did, the instant his eyes locked on mine. They stayed there briefly, and he was back under control by the time he looked back over my head at Alice - mostly. "I'll be staying here with Bella tonight. Would you like to leave now, or do you want me to _make_ you leave?"

Alice returned his look coolly, with equal hostility. "Fine by me. I can only handle the stench for so long. Bella?" I turned to face her, with Jacob behind me. "Just think about what I said, Bella. Edward needs you. He needs to _see_ you, at least once. I'm not asking for more than that. Just please think about it, okay?"

Feeling sick, I nodded.

Almost immediately, I felt Jake's arm secure itself around my middle from behind, keeping me close as though he thought I was about to go after Alice. His voice left no doubt that he was serious. "Okay, she's thought about it. The answer's no. She owes him _nothing._ And I want you out of here, right now."

I almost called out for Alice to wait as she disappeared through the window, terrified I'd never see her again. I felt even worse when I turned and buried my face in Jacob's chest. For the first time in days, it did nothing to make me feel better. If anything, I now felt even worse because I truly understood exactly what I was leading him to believe with every embrace.

This couldn't go on.

I'd stop it, right now, I decided - but then his warm chin rested on top of my head as he held me together, and I changed my mind. I couldn't give up Jake right now, too.

Later. I'd put a stop to it...later.

ooo

Jacob couldn't stay the entire night. Sam had finally ordered him to patrol, so he had no choice but to leave me when the time came.

"I'll be close by, Bella," he whispered, when he woke me up enough to let me know that he was going - a sweet gesture, I realized, because Jake knew better than anybody how badly I might panic if I simply woke up in the morning and he was gone. "Victoria won't get anywhere near here." He swallowed hard. "I can't touch the Cullens, though, even if they come here. Sam ordered...he ordered me to abide by the treaty. You know that I can't disobey his..."

"It's okay," I assured him quickly. "They won't hurt me...at least not physically."

Before I could stop him, Jake's lips landed on mine in a brief, quick kiss. It wasn't the passionate, overbearing kiss I might have expected from Jacob. It was sweet, hesitant, barely there - a kiss of promise, meant to reassure. Shocked, I froze, not responding but not pushing him away. It was over so fast I wouldn't have had _time_ to push him away.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you in _any_ way," he vowed, and then pressed his lips against mine softly once more. "No matter what Sam says. Night, Bells."

He was gone before I could say a word.

ooo

"Wake up."

The sun wasn't even fully up - not that I'd have been able to see it anyway, under the heavily overcast sky. The voice hovering above me was cold, impatient. My eyes rolled partway open groggily, only to snap completely open when I realized there was a pair of black eyes staring down at me from above my bed.

"Rosalie?" I asked in shock, shrinking from her. She looked especially menacing with her black eyes and her clothing that was as disheveled as Alice's had been, her arms crossed impatiently across her chest as she loomed over me.

If anything, my fearful reaction seemed to irritate her more. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, and she gave an impatient shake of her perfect blonde hair. I sat up carefully, watching her.

"I'm not here to kill you, as tempting as it might be. That would only make matters worse...if that's _possible_." She managed to sound even more disdainful with her next words than she already did. "But I'm not here to _beg_ you like Alice, either. This is past ridiculous, and it ends right now."

As she spoke, she quickly gathered a pair of my shoes from the floor, along with the jeans and shirt I'd laid across my chair when I took them off the night before. She unceremoniously dropped the items in my lap. "I'm going to fix my mistake. Get dressed. Or don't get dressed. I don't really care. The wolf will be back soon, so you only have five minutes either way."

The fear hadn't exactly gone away completely, especially when I understood that she was saying Jake was nowhere near. His patrol must have been over, and he must have been making a quick trip home to shower or eat before coming back - and Rosalie was taking advantage of it.

"Five minutes until what?" I managed to ask hoarsely.

"Until we leave. I'm going to lock you and Edward in his room until he either kills you, changes you, or you both just grow up," she snapped. "I'm truly sorry for the trouble I caused, but I'm tired of this." She sneered at me, almost a snarl. "For some reason Alice insists on _coddling_ you. And then Edward ripped off one of Emmett's fingers this morning trying to get away when _she_ got back from talking to you. We've kept him locked in his room for three days and he hasn't stopped screaming for even one minute. We can't leave him alone for a second. We can't even hunt. I'm not putting up with it anymore."

What is it they say about 'plain talk?' It's easily understood.

I brushed my teeth and dressed quickly, but Rosalie had been serious about that deadline. I only had one shoe on when her arm shot out like lightning and she threw me on her back, jumping out my window and carrying me very much against my will to the Cullen home.

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**Next chapter, Edward and Bella meet again! Of course, I'm not promising that means it's going to be sunshine and roses - Edward has his work cut out for him!**

**Please, please, please review. I'm ready to beg at this point. :) I have another in-progress story as well, and I tend to gravitate toward working on whichever one is getting the most reviews. So if you want to find out what happens next, _please_ review. **


	5. Chapter 5: Casa de Cullen

Chapter 5: Casa de Cullen

Running with Rosalie made me truly appreciate running with Edward.

I'm not entirely sure what I expected; but it should have come as no surprise to learn that Edward had taken it easy on me. I'd always felt comfortably secure on his back, even at high speeds. With Rosalie, I had to hang on for dear life - I think she might have actually _preferred_ it if I'd fallen off. It felt as though I was jolted and jarred within an inch of my life as we flew at an inhuman pace through the woods, bringing me closer every second to something that I wasn't entirely sure I could face.

Things got worse when, somewhere in the middle of the woods, she suddenly dropped me unceremoniously to the ground. She'd been aiming for me to land on my feet, but - being Bella Swan - I of course fell right on my butt. Rosalie didn't really care.

"Wait here." Her voice was cold.

Panic flooded me, along with memories of the _last_ time I'd been lost in the woods. I reached out to grab her, so desperate not to be left alone in the dark woods by myself that even Rosalie suddenly seemed like good company.

"Rosalie_, no, _wait!" I wasn't fast enough, of course, to get hold of her. She was already gone.

I almost started hyperventilating the second she left. I could barely see a thing, and I had no way of knowing how far out into the woods I was - but it was probably somewhere the wolves couldn't go now that the Cullens were back in town. If Rosalie decided life would be better off without me, she could just leave me there to die. Alice wouldn't be able to see my future, but that would just make her assume I'd split town with Jacob. And Edward...well, he'd go back to his distractions, and then everybody would be happy. Esecially Rosalie.

Enough time passed that I became _convinced_ that was Rosalie's intention.

But I couldn't just keep sitting there. Not really assuming that it'd do any good, I decided that _this_ time if I was going to be lost in the woods, I at least had enough stubbornness to fight for survival. Knowing better than to start wandering around in the woods by myself, I decided I'd start with sitting right where I was and screaming.

"Help! HEEEEELLLLP! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?"

I listened to the echo of my own voice in the stillness, and felt possibly even _more_ alone. Every hair on the back of my neck stood up. If anyone _could_ hear me, it was probably Victoria - and maybe Rosalie was just peachy with that idea too. _Damn_ her. She didn't have to like me, but did she have to _kill_ me?

"Please!" I yelled just a second later anyway. "Please, somebody help me! HEEEEELLLLPPP!"

And then I just kept screaming...

ooo

"Would you _shut the hell up?"_

Gasping, I turned. I'd worked myself up to the point that I truly _expected_ to see flame-red hair and bared teeth in front of me.

"Rosalie?" I managed to squeak out with my rapidly hoarsening voice. She just looked at me like something she'd scraped off the bottom of her shoe.

"Who were you expecting? Your little pet mongrel?" she sneered, but didn't give me a chance to answer. Reaching down and grabbing my arm, she hauled me to my feet. "As if Edward wasn't bad enough already! I swear to God, if he tore anything else off of Emmett trying to get out here to you, I'll..."

I barely even registered the viciousness, or the fact that cutting off an angry vampire was probably a _bad_ idea. All I heard was the fact that I wasn't completely at Rosalie's mercy.

"He can hear me?" I begged, grabbing her by the shoulders.

She winced, pushing me off of her a little roughly with a disgusted look on her face. "God, you smell like a dog! This just gets better and better. Edward's going to _love_ that." She rolled her eyes. "And yes, he heard you. Who _didn't_ hear you? We're less than 100 yards from the house."

Throwing me on her back, she took off again and I _very _soon saw what she meant...she had left me only one thick stand of trees away from the Cullen yard. "Why did you leave me back there?" I managed to find the courage to ask her as she set me down just outside the front door. To my surprise, this time she steadied me so I didn't fall.

For one split second, I thought I saw a flash of something resembling humanity in her eyes as she opened the door and looked cautiously up the stairs - maybe it was guilt, at the very least.

"I decided I needed to prepare him," she murmured so quietly I could barely hear her, with less acid in her voice than I'd ever heard when she spoke to me. "And to warn Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle so they could get a better grip on him. I wasn't sure what he'd do if he suddenly smelled you here without warning."

Had that been for my benefit, I wondered? Or Edward's? Maybe both, I eventually decided - and then she clarified: "I wouldn't put it past the idiot to attack _me_ to get to you."

Oh. It was for Rosalie's benefit. It was all making sense now...

She grabbed my hand and began pulling me up the stairs like I was a small child. I wondered for a moment where the rest of the Cullens were, but it wasn't my primary focus. I also wondered briefly why Rosalie was holding my hand, but assumed that even she had finally realized that stairs plus Bella equals a disaster waiting to happen. I couldn't very well calm Edward down enough for Rosalie's life to go back to normal if I broke my neck 30 feet from his door, now could I? She was nothing if not thorough.

"Why were you gone so long?" I asked her, suddenly whispering - as though that would really keep anybody from hearing. "Didn't you just have to tell him I was here?"

Rosalie didn't answer until we were just outside Edward's door, where she let go of me and then paused, seeming a little hesitant all of a sudden. "That was the plan. But there were...complications."

It struck me at that moment that it was eerily quiet inside the house.

"Wait!" I begged desperately, reaching out for her hand as she reached for the doorknob. By some miracle, she complied and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was truly not prepared for the sight of Edward's face.

"I thought you said he'd been screaming nonstop," I stammered, when I realized that I had to say something to keep her stalled.

She shrugged, unconcerned. "He was. It got worse when I told him what I'd done and he realized you were right outside." She glared at me. "Then _you_ started screaming like something was out there trying to kill you, and all hell broke loose."

I winced, but didn't have the guts to inquire any further about that: I wasn't sure I wanted to know. But I was still desperate to stall her from opening the door, so I tried a different question. "W- where - where's everybody else?"

Her lips pressed together in a thin line, her eyes appraising me as if I was extremely dense and should already know. "Where else? In there dealing with your latest stunt. If you were trying to drive him mad just now, you very nearly succeeded."

"No, I..." I shook my head. Arguing was pointless, and there was still more information I needed. Placing my hand back on her cold wrist, I injected a tone of pleading into my voice. "Please wait...

A cold chill went down my spine as she looked at me expectantly, growing more impatient with each question. If I wanted to keep her talking, I had no choice but to ask the question I still wasn't sure I wanted to ask. "He's not screaming now. I don't even hear him. What did you have to..." I swallowed hard. "Is he...hurt?"

She smirked. "He can hear you right now, you know. No, he's not hurt, and _I _didn't do anything to him. He was too busy trying to kill _me_ for '_endangering'_ you." She scoffed. "Ungrateful."

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. "Rosalie! _What happened!"_

Her smirk grew. "Carlisle handled it. Basically he told Edward that if he didn't shut up and calm down, he wouldn't be able to spare any of us to go check on you. He hasn't made a sound since, other than to gripe that Carlisle only sent _me _to go save you from your little fear of the dark. But at least he's doing it _quietly_." She scanned me reproachfully. "If I'd known it'd be that easy, I'd have just threatened to kill you days ago."

In relief, I slumped against the door...which Rosalie took great pleasure in flinging open at almost exactly that moment, causing me to lurch forward into Edward's room - where the door slammed right behind me almost immediately.

ooo

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when the door to Edward's room opened.

The neat, tidy bedroom I remembered was a thing of the past. For one thing, it was now open air. There wasn't a single square inch of glass that remained unbroken. It was shattered all over the floor. And glass wasn't all that covered the floors. The one bookshelf that still remained upright against the wall was as empty as the rest of his shelves, which lay broken all around the room. All of the contents of them - his books, his music, all of his belongings - littered the floor, crushed and broken, to the extent that there was nowhere to walk. Shattered glass was both on top of the stacks of broken treasures and underneath it, like crystal icing on the entire mess. His couch was completely missing...or at least I thought it was until I realized that there was no longer a wall between his room and the adjoining one - he'd thrown the couch right through it.

But even that was nothing compared to Edward himself.

He wore the same clothes I'd seen him in last, but his shirt was ripped nearly to shreds. His face was drawn, such dark circles under his eyes that I knew he still hadn't hunted, even as desperately as he'd needed to when I found him in Italy. In fact, I finally realized, that was why _all_ of the Cullens looked so disheveled...they were _all _in the same clothes I'd seen them wear in the airport.

His back was up against the far wall, but obviously not of his own choosing. Carlisle and Jasper each pinned one arm to the wall, each of them also using a leg to hook around his ankle and keep his lower body immobilized as well; Esme, Emmett and Alice stood elbow to elbow forming a wall a few steps in front of him, facing him. Their backs were to me, with Emmett in the middle crouched and ready.

As soon as he saw me, Edward clearly strained forward, and the silence was broken as he gave a long, low growl. His eyes were fixed on me, and for the first time ever I was flooded with a complete terror of him as he viciously snarled. I froze like a deer caught in headlights, wondering if in his excessively thirsty condition he had finally lost control of his pull for my blood and intended to attack. If my heartbeat sounded like thunder in my own ears, I could only imagine what it sounded like to the room full of vampires who had been so busy restraining Edward they hadn't had time to hunt. Even more fear flooded me.

It wasn't until Edward spoke that I realized his wrath wasn't directed at me, although his eyes never left me.

"I'm going to kill you, Rosalie." A cold shudder wracked through me. His voice was ragged, ravaged, tortured - and deadly serious. He didn't even _sound_ like my Edward - which was helpful, since I had to keep myself firmly in check and remember that he could _never_ be my Edward again. I could never go through him breaking my heart again, but if I let him past my defenses and trusted him then that was exactly what would happen.

Rosalie snarled a response at him from my side, and Edward growled right back, pushing harder against Jasper and Carlisle - who quite plainly had their work cut out for them.

Emmett's voice, on the other hand, was calm and good-natured as always, even as he crouched a little deeper to stave off any attack. "Afraid you're gonna have to go through me for that one, little bro. Now c'mon, Edward, settle down. Bella's fine. See? She's right there. Hey, Bella!" Without turning around to face me, he lifted a hand in greeting as he called my name.

"Hey," I called hoarsely to his broad back. The entire situation was surreal, especially when Emmett gave a low chuckle. Only Emmett could laugh at a time like this.

Edward ignored us both, still growling disapprovingly from low in his chest. "Do you have any _idea_ what could've happened to her, alone in the woods? You had _no right_, Rosalie!" he hissed.

My eyes finally _really_ fixed on him, as a shot of absolutely uncontrollable _fury_ took over my body. I was so mad I was _shaking_. Maybe Rosalie didn't, but _I_ knew _exactly_ what could happen to me alone in the woods...Laurent; Victoria; giant freaking werewolves carrying me home when someone who claimed to love me left me to die in a miserable ball on the forest floor.

I opened my mouth to tell him so, but Rosalie beat me to the punch.

She didn't back down even a millimeter. In fact, she grabbed my arm and jerked us both a step closer to Edward - where I _really_ didn't want to be at that moment. "You know what, Edward? _Shut. Up._ To hear the mongrel whine about it, _you_ left her in the woods a lot longer than _I_ did, and a lot worse happened. So lose the whole self-righteous thing. And... S_hut. Up."_

I was reeling. Rosalie and I were...in agreement. How the hell did _that_ happen?

That was the first thing I realized.

And second...

Rosalie had had a _conversation _with Jacob? When? _That_ must have been interesting.

"Hi, Bella," Alice called over her shoulder as Rosalie and Edward continued to silently threaten one another. Alice's voice was just as clear and musical as ever, but obviously stressed at the same time. Like Emmett, she also did not take her eyes off Edward. "Sorry about this."

Tearing my eyes away from Edward's face in the hopes that it would stop the pounding ache in my chest that resulted from being so close to him, I stared at the back of Alice's spiky hair.

"How did you not see this coming? How could you not see her decide to _kidnap_ me?" I was going for angry and fierce. It definitely came out more like meek and terrified.

Alice shrugged - the gesture lost something with her facing away from me, I realized.

"I never said I didn't. I could have stopped her, but I...well, Bella, I kind of decided she had the right idea. Sorry." She didn't sound sorry...not one little bit. The 'sorry' was so sing-songy that it was practically an insult.

_"What?"_ I spluttered, absolutely furious. "You went along with this? Alice, what the hell are you _doing?_ I told you I didn't want to come here, ever again!" The words were out before I could stop them.

Edward quit growling, and seemed like he quit struggling too. Now he just stood stock still, eyes on my face, with a look of pure devastation - one which threatened to surpass my defenses and make me do something stupid like taking it back and throwing my arms around him. Steeling myself, I focused on Alice and _ignored_ him - which was growing more difficult by the moment.

Alice groaned. "Thanks, Bella. I sort of left that part out when I replayed it for him."

"What else are you leaving out, _Alice_?" Edward fired through his clenched teeth, anger quickly taking over his expression even though he didn't fight anymore. "You of all people know how I feel about any of this being against her _will_."

My eyebrow shot up at that one, my anger spiking again. On the one hand, clearly Edward and Alice had discussed this in some of his more lucid moments since Italy - enough for him to have told her to back off. On the other hand, who was _he_ to talk about doing things against my will? Being left alone and vulnerable at the hands of Laurent and Victoria, not to mention suffering the effects of a gaping hole in my chestt for seven months, had definitely _not_ been what I wanted.

Alice, of course, was unconcerned by her brother's latest dramatics. I didn't have to see her to know that she'd rolled her eyes, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"I only went along with Rosalie doing this because I saw how it would all turn out. You might not want to kill Rosalie just _yet,_" she told Edward triumphantly. "In fact, you'll be buying her a car for this...eventually. Maybe even a summer home - possibly after the _wedding._"

The words infuriated me. Didn't I get _any_ say in this? A huge part of me didn't _want_ to forgive Edward - almost as huge as the part of me that was _terrified_ to forgive him. But...

Never bet against Alice. Right?

But why did she have to sound so _smug_?

As though she'd heard that thought, her voice turned a little worried as she finally turned her back on her suddenly much calmer brother and turned to me.

"Or at least, he _would_ have been in Rosalie's debt. I knew how it _was_ going to turn out until Rosalie decided to leave you outside and warn him, and you decided to freak out. Honestly, Bella, what are you thinking about? Now everything's all blurry again."

She sounded pouty; insanely, I felt the urge to apologize for making things so _difficult_ for _her_. Unbelievable. But I wasn't _going_ to apologize. It wasn't Rosalie leaving me in the woods that had changed my course; that had just reminded me of the _reason _for the course I had to take. Trusting Edward was something I couldn't do again. Too bad _I_ couldn't buy Rosalie a car for reminding me of that before I could blindly reconcile with Edward and get my heart broken again.

Squaring my shoulders, I put as much force into my voice as I could. "You asked me to let him see that I'm safe. That's all you asked for, Alice, and that's all I'm prepared to give. I'm not staying."

Rosalie snorted beside me in a very un-Rosalie like manner - and I remembered her threat to lock me in with Edward until he either killed me or changed me.

I opened my mouth to angrily tell her that she was going to have to kill me, because I wasn't staying here willingly so long as there was breath in my body. But a soft, velvet voice cut me off.

"Bella..."

It was the first time he'd spoken directly to me, but it was the sudden change in his voice that caught my attention. He sounded like _my _Edward again, the one that I remembered.

"You're free to go, of course. But...I'd like the chance to speak with you, just this once." He hesitated, but his eyes were so intense that they drew me in, dazzling me. He focused on me as though I was the only thing that existed to him. "Please. It's all I ask."

I just stared at him, uncomprehending.

Taking my silence as a cue, he turned to Carlisle beside him and spoke softly. "I'm under control. Please release me."

Carlisle's eyes flicked past Edward to Jasper on the other side. After only a moment's hesitation, Jasper nodded and released the arm and leg he pinned. "He's calm."

Carlisle still didn't let go, and I realized he wanted further proof. "Alice?" he asked.

She stared into nothingness for a moment. "It'll be okay."

Carlisle still hesistated. And then Esme broke formation and stepped close to her husband, her voice soft.

"All he ever wanted was to know she's safe. Now he just wants to talk to her."

Finally, Carlisle turned to me. "Bella? I apologize for the actions of Rosalie and Alice. Had Esme or I known, we would have prevented this. Do you _wish_ to speak with Edward, or do you wish to leave? I'll drive you home myself, and return you to your room without Charlie's knowledge, if necessary. We'll do this your way."

I made the mistake of looking at Edward. His eyes pled with me, so filled with profound sadness that it crippled my ability to resist anymore.

"I'll stay."

I heard the words fall out of my own mouth in much the way that a condemned man might hear the whoosh of the executioner's axe - with full knowledge that doom is imminent.

Unlike a condemned man, I wanted no witnesses. Drawing a deep breath, I went all in. "In fact, I'd prefer to speak with Edward alone."

At least if I was going to soon be consumed by the ever-expanding black hole in my chest, I first had the satisfaction of shocking the hell out of a room full of vampires who'd lived long enough to see it all. The shock in the room was practically a living force - the room was thick with it.

But Carlisle had meant his offer to handle this however I wanted. Without a word, he released Edward. Esme drifted forward only long enough to place a gentle hand on her son's shoulder, and then released him and led the way from the room. My eyes were fixed on Edward, so it wasn't until I heard the soft snick of the door closing that I realized we were truly alone.

ooo

"Thank you."

Still standing right by the wall where his family had left him, the whisper from Edward was so soft that I barely heard it. Eyes full of emotion, he took a step forward - but froze into place immediately when I sucked in a sharp breath and instinctively took a step backward. This was going to be hard enough for me without him coming any closer.

He became a statue, but the pain in his eyes was obvious. As though it was too much, he closed them briefly. When he reopened them, his face was a carefully calm mask.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have. I realize that you're already giving me more than I deserve simply by remaining here."

The tender quality to his voice, so much like when he used to tell me that he loved me, was equal in sensation to having my heart gripped in a vise. It almost staggered me.

"What did you want to say?" I asked him, not keeping the impending tears out of my voice quite as well as I had hoped. My stance must have looked somewhat defensive - I watched him warily, prepared to spring backward if he tried approaching me again. I didn't fear him - at least not physically - but I felt a stab of guilt when another flash of pain broke through the cool mask of his features and I realized that he thought I _was_ afraid of him.

"What do I want to say to you...I've thought of nothing else for days, Bella," he answered, his voice thick with emotion. "Months, actually, long before you found me in Italy. At that time, I wanted to apologize. But now I realize that there is no apology that could begin to repair what I've done."

I had known I wouldn't be able to fight back the damn tears for long. Anger at _myself_ helped me to keep the undercurrent of steel in my voice that I needed if I didn't want him to see how desperately close I was to cracking, flinging myself into his arms and begging him not to ever let go.

"Fine. You're not going to apologize. So then just answer my question - what _do_ you want to say?"

He blinked, my wrath surprising him. Honestly, it had surprised me as well.

"I deserve that, Bella, without question. Please understand that I wasn't aware until very recently exactly how much you've suffered. Alice showed me some things in Italy, but she kept most of it from me. Even in the airport, I didn't...at least until..."

Again, his eyes closed, as though he couldn't take the images he'd seen in Alice's head...

...and most likely Jacob's too, I realized with a stab of pain. He'd read Jacob's mind - and I had no doubt Jacob had given him an eyeful.

_Jacob._

The sudden yearning for my safe place - for _Jacob_ and his warm smile and even warmer arms - pulled a whimper from my throat. Even disheveled and thirsty, Edward was so beautiful it hurt to look at him. I needed to get away. I needed my safe, comfortable refuge. Clinging to Jacob had become my kneejerk reaction to any Edward-related pain; and right then I needed Jacob to make me forget _why_ it was so dangerous for me to be in a room with Edward.

As they had before, Edward's eyes suddenly reopened with new resolve. "You deserve every apology I could begin to formulate, Bella. I deserve to beg your forgiveness and be denied it. But I don't have to read your mind to see that mere words can never make amends for what I've done. I'd throw myself on my knees in front of you right now if I thought I could take back one shred of the pain I've caused you - the only thing restraining me from doing so is the knowledge that it would only cause you _more_ pain. Perhaps begging your forgiveness would assuage my guilt, but if the price of easing my conscience is to cause you further hurt, I'm not willing to pay it."

I truly began to understand the phrase 'torn in two.' Every shred of me wanted to stay with Edward as long as he'd let me. But every shred of me also wanted to jump right out his window and race through the forest screaming until Jacob heard me and came to take me safely to La Push.

"Bella...I've considered every possible thing that I might say to you if given this chance. I suppose that it all comes down to one simple question."

My heartbeat started to echo in my ears. _No_, I wanted to scream...I had thought I was prepared for this, but I wasn't. One question away from never seeing Edward again...the thought panicked me to the depths of my soul.

"What?" I managed to croak out.

Edward drew in a deep breath, and I realized - he looked as frightened as I felt.

"Bella. Is there any part of you, however small, that still...loves me?"

Of all the questions he could have asked, that was the most absurd. I blinked furiously at him as I tried to comprehend it. Rage and yearning filled me in equal measure; I wanted nothing more than to fling myself across the room and beat my fists on his chest - to scream "How could you even _ask_ me that" into his face with all of the pent-up emotion of seven long months.

I didn't.

Instead, tears flooded my eyes, and I heard the first choking sob rip its way from my throat.

"That's the problem - oh God, Edward, of _course_ there is."

I took one furious step toward him, and that was all it took. He was in front of me so fast I didn't even see him move. His arms were like a steel cage around me, one hand fisting in my hair as he buried his ice-cold face in my neck.

I thought I had sobbed every tear I had left into Jacob's chest over the past days. But the torrent that unleashed against Edward as he securely held me made my previous tears seem like nothing. As my sobs intensified, his arms tightened to the point I feared he might crush me if he held any tighter.

His voice was so broken that I'd have sworn he was crying too. "Bella...oh, Bella, that's all I need, love. I don't care how small that part is, or if it takes the rest of my existence. I'll fight for that part, Bella. I'll do whatever it takes to regain the rest. I swear it. I _swear_ it."

Before I could even think, my face was gently but firmly cradled between two cold, marble hands, tilting my head up to look at him. Even I could see the urgency in his eyes, could see what he intended to do and that this kiss wasn't going to be the super-restrained, too-tender kiss I remembered. Panic closed up my throat, and I couldn't even tell him how badly I needed him not to do this. Once his lips touched mine, it was going to be over - I would be his again, to destroy when he wished. And this time, there would be no saving me - not even Jacob would be able to help me.

_Jacob_.

I wasn't sure if the thought was entirely mine, or if Edward's mind screamed it so loud I could actually hear it.

Just as his lips brushed mine and I deeply inhaled his sweet scent in preparation of entrusting my heart totally back into Edward's hands, he suddenly stiffened and pulled back. An agonized sound escaped his shocked, parted lips, matching the look of pure betrayal in his eyes.

I didn't have to ask what he had smelled...or possibly even tasted. The memory of Jacob twice pressing his warm lips to mine before leaving me in my bedroom only hours before was as vivid as if it was happening all over again. It had been nothing to me...but Edward couldn't read my thoughts. He had no way of knowing that. All he knew was that I had been kissing a werewolf.

With what appeared to be great effort, Edward released me completely and took a step back. His mouth was still partially open in shock. I could only imagine what my expression must look like.

"I apologize. I didn't realize..." he began with stiff formality. His fists were clenched tightly at his sides, his posture stiff.

"Edward..." I attempted, but words stuck in my throat.

"This is, of course, fair. I had no right to expect..." He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers for a moment before taking another step back. "You only did what I asked of you. The fact that he is a werewolf...it terrifies me, Bella, but I've seen his thoughts. I know that he's kept you safe when - when I didn't. I'll not harm him, unless he hurts you. You've no idea what it costs me to promise that, but it's all I can give you now."

"Edward!"

"I'm so, so sorry Bella. If I could go back and change things, I'd never leave you. But I'll not make this harder for you. I'll love you, Bella. For the rest of my existence."

Panic filled me. "Edward, what are you..."

But it was too late. He disappeared right out of the smashed window.

ooo

A gentle knock sounded on the door only two seconds later.

"Bella?"

Tears hadn't even come yet. I simply stood in shock, staring out at the empty trees.

It wasn't until Esme's arms wrapped around me that I even realized she was there.

"You heard," a garbled, tear-filled voice stammered, and I realized it was me.

"Yes," she told me gently. "There is no need to be embarrassed. There are no secrets in this family, as you know. We considered leaving to give you privacy, but we all elected to remain nearby in case _you_ needed us." I heard the motherly pride in her voice when she told me, almost reverently, "Even Rosalie."

I pulled stiffly away from her. The searing pain I'd expected when Edward inevitably left me again didn't come. Instead, I just felt empty. Dead. Somehow, that was worse.

"It doesn't matter now. He's gone again, so I suppose you're all leaving too."

Esme didn't bat an eye. "I know you haven't forgiven any of us, Bella. But I need to tell you how sorry I am. I never stopped thinking of you as a daughter, and I never will." She paused a moment. "And Edward's not going far."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I suppose Alice has _seen_ it?" I shot out sarcastically.

She actually smiled at me. "I don't need Alice to tell me what I already know. I know what leaving you the first time cost my son. He won't do it again, Bella. I don't even think he can."

"He just did," I pointed out flatly.

Esme's smile grew. She stepped closer, smoothing some hair off of my shoulder. "I feel confident in assuring you he didn't. You simply...gave him some more things to think about."

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together. The last thing I needed was empty promises.

"I want to go home."

"I can take you myself, Bella. I'll be happ..."

Suddenly, Esme cut off in mid-word, her eyes growing wide as she whirled around, sniffing the air.

At the same moment, the doorbell rang.

ooo

Esme recovered quickly, grabbing my hand.

"Come, Bella."

She pulled me down the stairs, half pulling me and half supporting me as we ran at a speed that pushed the limits of 'human.'

The first voice I heard was Carlisle's, coming into range of my hearing in mid-sentence.

"...don't want any trouble. I assure you she's unharmed."

"_Where. Is. She?" _The voice was furious in a way I'd never heard, but it was one I recognized.

My feet froze a second, and then I ripped away from Esme.

_"Jake?"_

It was part relief and part terror that made my feet suddenly fly even faster as I barreled toward the front door at speeds I should never attempt without assistance.

He didn't run to meet me as he had in the airport. In fact, he never took his eyes off the vampires or even budged. He kept his imposing defensive stance in the doorway and let me fly right past Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens, straight into his chest, where I intended to keep myself firmly between the werewolf-in-human-form and the vampires. Carlisle woudn't do anything to harm him, but if Jake went on the attack I couldn't be sure what Jasper and Rosalie, at the very least, would do to him.

Jacob, of course, had other plans that didn't include me standing between them. His arm wrapped around my waist immediately, pulling me under his shoulder. He then turned his body with his opposite shoulder toward Carlisle, so that I was partially behind him.

"Are you all right, Bella?" I'd never heard his voice so hard, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were still fixed on Carlisle.

"Jake, I'm fine! Please...don't..." Pulling at him and struggling to get free so I could push him back was almost laughably useless. He kept me in place like I was shackled there.

"Fine. For Bella's sake, I'm not looking for trouble either," he spat at Carlisle. "Not until I find _him_." He made the word sound like a curse word, and I shuddered. "But I'm warning you...if any of you pull a stunt like this again, I'm not coming alone next time."

"It won't happen again," Carlisle promised him smoothly, retaining his calm. "At least not against her will. No harm was intended. However, if she chooses to come here of her own free will, she is always welcome."

Jacob started vibrating, so I pulled harder. "Jake...please...let's just go. Come on!" His tremors only intensified, and it was with very real fear that I started clawing at him. "Jake! Please! I need you to take me home!"

That snapped him out of it. He walked backward, hauling me along with him and never taking his eyes off of the Cullens, until we were several yards away and the door closed. Then he turned to me with an unreadable expression.

"Step back, Bella. I'm going to phase, and I want you to climb on my back."

I opened my mouth to protest.

"The sun's almost up. It's the only way to get you back to your room before Charlie knows you're gone."

I couldn't really argue with that. Moments later, I was flying through the forest, completely unaware of anything except the tears that freely flowed from my eyes into a patch of russet-colored fur.

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**Oh, what a tangled web we weave...**

**I'll be happy to keep working on untangling it for our heroes, but first I need some reviews! Come on, guys! It would really, really help me to hear what you like, what your favorite lines are, et cetera. Please? Don't make me get Jasper in here for some mood control to get you guys to review! :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Anywhere but Here

Chapter 6 - Anywhere but Here

Soft rumbles of thunder sounded in the distance as I clung tightly to the powerful russet wolf racing me home. As the fast-approaching storm grew rapidly closer, Jake ran even faster - and I held on even tighter. I barely noticed; I was too busy soaking his fur with tear after tear.

To my surprise, he ran me right up to my front door. A low, urgent whine let me know that it was time for me to get down, before Charlie could see him. I could barely lift my tear-streaked face from the soft fur of his neck to climb off his back - but almost as soon as I did, he disappeared. The feeling of being completely alone overwhelmed me almost instantly.

"Jake!" I whispered desperately into the early morning stillness, but received no answer. Suddenly I remembered his unreadable expression outside the Cullen home, and his terse command for me to back up so he could phase and carry me home. There had been nothing gentle about his words or expression. A feeling of unease began to settle in the pit of my stomach as the memory hit me.

I could only come to one conclusion: Jacob must be mad at me, though I couldn't understand exactly why. He himself knew that I'd been taken against my will - I'd heard him insinuate as much to Carlisle.

Having just lost Edward - again - I couldn't really deal with Jacob's fury on top of it.

Stifling a sob at the injustice of it all, I managed to get myself in the front door and up the stairs to my room just as the rain started outside, quickly going from drizzle to a downpour. I could hear Charlie's alarm clock going off as I tiptoed past his door, my heart pounding a little faster at just how close _that_ had been.

As I entered my room and softly closed the door, my head was still spinning from the scene at the Cullen house. One moment I had still been too hurt and bitter to even risk speaking to Edward. Then, almost before I realized it was happening, his lips had been a millimeter from mine, with an expression in his dark eyes that had told me I'd better brace myself because he was _done_ with restraining his passion beyond what was absolutely necessary for my safety.

And then seconds later, he was _gone_ again - right out the window, with a promise to love me forever.

If it hadn't been for the shock, I might have been angry. Why did Edward's definition of love always seem to involve absence from my life?

But I couldn't even be angry. As it was, I just felt empty - empty and desperate at the same time. He was _gone_. With everything in me, I'd dreaded this moment. It was the reason I'd pushed him away so hard. It was what I'd been preparing myself for ever since the plane home from Italy. I'd thought that maybe if I didn't let him too close, it wouldn't hurt so badly when he left again.

I'd been wrong.

But it was too late now to fix it. He really _was_ gone. And despite what Esme had said, I had no doubt that this time he wasn't coming back. Why would he, if he believed that Jacob and I were happy? He'd left before I could tell him that _no one_ but him could ever fill the empty gap in my heart other than him - not even my warm, strong Jake who I loved dearly but not even close to enough.

And now I'd never get the chance to tell Edward that.

My thoughts were broken moments later by a soft thud from behind me. Whirling around, I saw Jacob standing just inside my bedroom window.

A lump formed in my throat, but I fought allowing the dam to break. Running into Jacob's arms most likely wasn't an option this time. If anything, he was probably there to yell at me - or to tell me he was done with all this too - done with _me._

In that moment, my mind was made up: I couldn't go back in time and change what'd happened with Edward. It was too late to fight for him. I'd stood paralyzed into speechlessness as he jumped out his window and left me forever. But for survival's sake, I wasn't letting Jacob go without a fight - no matter what it took.

That same unreadable expression as I had seen at the Cullens' house filled Jacob's eyes, which were black and hard. His jaw was clenched, his hands balled in tense fists at his sides as he stood and stared at me intently. He'd clearly been caught outside in the rain after depositing me outside my door; rivulets of water ran out of his wet hair, carving a path down his bare chest and disappearing inside the waistband of the pair of cutoffs he'd hastily thrown on before coming back up to my room. Those were as soaked as he was.

A bright flash lit up the window behind him, followed almost instantly by the sharp crack of thunder. I wasn't sure if it was the storm or the way the lightning backlit Jacob's tense features that caused me to startle.

The way he stared at me was starting to unnerve me.

"Jake," I finally whispered. "It's not what you think. I can explain."

That snapped him out of it, as a flash of _real_ anger crossed his features...making me wonder if I'd misread him completely before. Was it possible that that strange expression on his face _hadn't_ been fury with me?

"Goddamnit, Bella."

I flinched at the harsh curse word from his lips, my eyes growing wide as he advanced on me. He crossed the room in three large strides, not stopping until he'd taken me by the shoulders in a firm grip and pulled me up against him, towering over me. His words were little more than a low growl as he kept his voice low for Charlie's sake, his eyes burning into mine.

"How the _hell_ can you still be willing to make excuses for _any_ of them? I can't take it anymore! They hurt you over and over again, and you just..." Shudders ran through his body and he trailed off, closing his eyes and breathing deeply to control himself.

Looking into the furious depths of his eyes as he slowly refocused on me, I started to put two and two together and make sense of his words. When I'd said I could explain, he must have thought I wanted to make explanations for Edward and Rosalie's actions - not my own. My eyes blinked rapidly, my mouth moving soundlessly a couple of times before any actual words came out.

"No - Jake, I'm not - I wasn't - I thought you were mad at _me._" My lower lip trembled like some kind of 3-year-old.

Jacob actually blinked at me once in surprise before he reacted.

"Jesus, Bella," he managed to push out between his teeth then, suddenly crushing me in a tight embrace. "Are you serious?" I hadn't realized just how violently he was trembling until I was pushed up against him, but now I also realized that it wasn't because he was trying not to phase. It was because Jacob had been scared to death.

"You just...you didn't say anything to me when you found me, and then..." I found myself babbling like an idiot, trying to explain what I didn't even understand myself. "You just looked so angry. And then when you came in just now, you still..." _For God's sake, Bella, shut up_, I ordered myself. I sounded like a kindergartener.

Jake didn't seem to notice. In one smooth motion, he pulled me away from him just far enough to look at me, his eyes still burning. Thunder crashed again, this time close enough to shake the house. The power went out at the same moment, bathing us in a darkness which was tempered only slightly by the storm-darkened morning sky. Another flash of lightning momentarily lit his features, just long enough for me to see that the darkest things in the room were his eyes.

And then his lips were on mine, one of his hands landing on the nape of my neck and tangling in my hair as he held my face to his. His other hand rested at my waist, gentle in comparison to the rest of him.

This kiss wasn't hesitant or brief like the first one, when he'd left me the night before. His lips claimed mine in unbridled passion, an urgent quest to take.

And with very little hesitation, I kept my promise to myself to do whatever it took not to let Jacob leave me either; I kissed him back. I kissed him with every ounce of desperation I had not to be left alone.

I dug my hands into his hair and kissed him in ways I'd never been able to kiss Edward, knowing for the first time what it was to consume and be consumed with lips, teeth, tongue, and no restraint whatsoever. I kissed him until he finally pulled back reluctantly, a dazed look in his eyes. Both of his hands came up to frame my face, pulling me back to where he could look at me - and with the next flash of lightning, I could see in his eyes exactly what I'd just done. There couldn't be any going back on my unspoken promises I'd just made that I was his now - not without crushing his heart into powder.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't mad at you, Bella." His voice was strained, breathless. "I was trying to hold it together. For the second time in a week, I thought I'd lost you. I didn't mean to freezee you out. It was just taking everything I had not to do something stupid...like that." He took a shaky breath and dropped his hands from my face, no longer touching me at all - but still standing so close I could feel the heat radiating off him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bells. I know that was too much too soon. You know I'll give you time..."

For reasons I didn't want to examine too closely, my heartrate picked up, desperation flooding me once again as I tuned out the rest of his heartfelt apology. I knew exactly what he meant. I also knew that it was now or never. Edward had left me, twice now. I could let it destroy me again...or I could cling to the one ray of sunshine in my dark world and give as much of myself to Jacob as there was left. Despite the fact that I was in no way ready for this - would _never_ be ready for this - I knew that if I pushed Jacob away now I'd risk losing him. I owed it to myself to take my one shot at some form of happiness.

"Jake."

My voice sounded stronger than I might have expected. His expression was resigned, and I knew he thought I was getting ready to reject him again.

"It's okay, Bells. Really. I knew better than to push like that."

"Shut up, Jake."

A perfectly timed flash of lightning showed me his confused expression.

And that was all I saw before I launched myself at him again.

Considering my size, I should have had no chance of being able to move the huge bulk that was Jacob _anywhere_. But somehow - maybe because he was boneless with utter shock - I managed to push him the couple steps until his back hit my bedroom wall.

I poured every conflicted emotion I had into the kiss that followed, as I stretched to my tiptoes and dragged his face down toward mine. Tears of frustration, fear, shock, anger, rejection and utter terror of being alone flooded my eyes, and I felt the first ones make their way past my lashes and down my cheeks.

Jacob, to his credit, only took a moment to recover. And then he flipped our positions pretty fast, putting my back up against the wall instead of his, as his tongue sought entrance to my mouth. I granted it immediately, and our tongues danced - reminding me once again of Edward. Because, of course, Edward and I had never done that.

Suddenly, the fact that even things I _hadn't_ done with Edward reminded me of him just completely pissed me off. It was bad enough that my entire bedroom was like one huge shrine that reminded me of him every move I made. And school. And my truck. And everything else in the entire town of Forks. Did things he _hadn't_ touched have to have the same effect? How was _that _fair? And right then I became even more determined that I was going to do _whatever the hell it took_ to forget him.

My hands left Jacob's face and hair, traveling rapidly down his chest. I felt his well-defined stomach muscles clench as I brushed over his abdomen, but I didn't let it distract me from my goal - the waistband of his cutoffs, along with the button.

Jacob hissed in surprise, briefly pulling away from my lips and looking at me with wide eyes. "Whoa..." I heard him mutter, and tensed for what I had become so used to from Edward: the inevitable rejection.

I should have known Jake better than that. Another flash of lightning revealed that if anything, his eyes went even darker. His lips crashed back onto mine, his hand moving to the top button of my shirt as he resumed the passionate kiss. No hesitation _there._

He had the top two buttons of my shirt undone while I still fumbled with the button on his shorts.

Just enough time for him to bring a hand to my cheek to sweep hair off of my face where it was getting in the way - and feel the tears on my cheeks.

I felt his lips pull away from mine, his one hand on my tearstreaked cheek freeze into place, and his other hand at the open top of my shirt go completely still as well.

I was ready to scream every curse word I'd ever heard, before his mouth even opened. Because I'd heard everything he was about to say before, but I'd sure as hell never expected it from him, of all people. Since it would obviously do me no good anyway, I quit trying to unbutton his shorts.

"Bells...are you crying?"

"No."

I didn't need a flash of lightning to know that he didn't buy it. I heard his deep, shaky breath.

"This isn't right, Bella. I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea."

"Damnit, Jacob!" I hissed angrily, pushing at his chest a little bit. He didn't even budge. His face was still so close I could feel his hot breath against my lips. "Do you have any idea how tired I am of hearing what a bad _idea_ this is? Don't I get a say? I'm tired of being treated like a child!"

I heard the angry sound in his throat even before the room lightened once again and I saw the angry frustration in his eyes.

"Then maybe you should stop acting like one! Tears aren't exactly a turn-on for me, Bella, especially when I know they're for some other guy!"

"Then maybe you should leave."

He might have agreed, if I'd managed to say that with as much anger as I'd meant to. Instead, it came out as a hoarse whisper, my voice breaking on the final word - just as two more tears squeezed past my lashes, one splashing onto Jacob's hand that still hadn't moved from my cheek.

His anger melted as quickly as it had flared up, his thumb stroking across my cheek gently as he brushed the tears away. I watched regret for his angry words take over his expression, saw him open his mouth - and knew that an apology was coming.

And then we both froze, because by the time we heard it - it was already too late.

"Hey, Bells, do you need a flashlight before I leave? I've got an ex..."

Charlie had knocked on the door at the same moment he began speaking.

By the fifth word, he'd opened the door and come right in, carrying a flashlight that would've lit up the entire town of Forks if needed.

And it's probably pretty obvious at exactly what point he registered the sight of me and Jacob.

Jacob jumped back pretty fast, but not before Charlie got an eyeful. I could only imagine what he saw from his perspective: his daughter's darkened bedroom, a massive teenage boy half dressed, his daughter's top two shirt buttons unbuttoned, and said massive half-naked teenaged boy backing her up to the wall. At least Jacob had already wiped my tears away, or it could have started to look even worse pretty fast.

"Bella? Jacob? What the HELL?"

"Dad?" I couldn't button those buttons fast enough, even though they were both high enough that nothing really showed. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Charlie was ignoring me so much that I wasn't sure I hadn't become invisible. He was too busy glowering menacingly at Jacob. It was a good 30 seconds before he managed to speak. Jacob and I neither one dared break the silence.

"OUT!" he finally thundered at Jake, his face already an alarming shade of purple. He was already dressed and ready for work, right down to the gun belt. The flashlight must have been an afterthought just as he was walking out the door. One hand was busy pointing a finger at Jacob's face, but I was pretty sure the other was twitching closer to that gunbelt by the second. His next words confirmed it. "Get out of here before I shoot you, kid. That means NOW! I'll deal with you later!"

"Dad!"

"Not another word, Bella!" Charlie finally acknowledged me. "You stay right here. I'll see Jacob out, and then we'll deal with this."

"Charlie..." Jake attempted.

"Don't 'Charlie' me, Jacob!" Charlie exploded. "Get out of my house and don't come back! If I see you here again, I'm arresting you."

I actually rolled my eyes at that point. "Dad..."

The angrily pointing finger swung around to me. "My house, my rules, Isabella."

I shut up.

Jake looked at me miserably, clearly still desperate to apologize. "I'll see you later, Bells. We'll talk?"

I didn't get to say a thing. Charlie answered for me. "The hell you will! I'm not kidding, Jacob, I'm going to shoot you if you don't get out of this house."

ooo

I really don't remember much of what Charlie had to say after he kicked Jake out. I was too deeply in shock for it to really register. I do know that he called Billy and...well, and tested the boundaries of their friendship. At least Billy had the advantage of already knowing why Jake would've been half naked - and that there was probably a pretty good (ie, Cullen-related) reason for him being in my bedroom at that time of morning. As for the rest of it...I could only hope that he'd assume Charlie was blowing things WAY out of proportion.

I had decided maybe Jacob had a point about me acting a little childish. So I let Charlie say everything he needed to say without complaint. I nodded my head sheepishly at the appropriate places. I apologized where I was pretty sure the apologies should be inserted.

But that entire effort went right out the window - a lot like everything else in my life lately - when Charlie left me to make a few phone calls, then returned to reveal his grand plan for the rest of the day. When he finished, I stared at him in shock for all of two seconds before I lost it completely.

"A babysitter? You're leaving me with a _babysitter?"_

"This isn't up for debate, Bella. I don't trust you in the house alone. Mrs. Newton has agreed you can come to their house and help her with some painting she's doing. Don't worry, I...lied to her about why. I made it sound like somebody had broke in here this morning." Charlie glowered at me again. "Which will be true if he comes around here again. He'll _have_ to break in." He looked longingly at his gunbelt. "And _then_ I can shoot him," he muttered.

I'd only heard one part of that entire diatribe.

"Mrs. _Newton_?" I couldn't believe my ears. What _else_ could go wrong? "Are you _kidding_ me?"

"What's wrong with the Newtons?" Charlie asked, truly confused for a moment. "They're a good family. Got a kid about your age."

"Yeah. A boy," I fired back without thinking about it. "Aren't you worried I'm going to corrupt him too?"

Charlie gave me a look that would've frozen boiling water. "Isabella Swan...that's enough."

I knew better than to mess with that tone - and I'd known I was pushing it anyway.

"Sorry, Dad," I muttered. "Sorry."

ooo

Why, oh why, oh why had Rosalie had to kidnap me on a Saturday, when there wasn't even the reprieve of school?

Listening to Mrs. Newton chatter happily while I tried not to cover myself or anything else non-paintable in a puke-green shade of paint - and not to trip over the paint cans in the process - was a new form of hell.

And then Mike's discovery that I was hanging at his house for the day was an even deeper circle of that new form of hell.

"So somebody was in your house?" he asked me, wide-eyed, after hearing his mom's explanations of exactly why Bella Swan was in his living room making a huge mess.

The doorbell rang, and I watched Mrs. Newton leave through the kitchen, leaving me alone with Mike. So this day _could_ get worse.

"Mm-hm." I tried ignoring him and focusing on the wall I was trying not to irrevocably destroy.

"In _Forks_?"

I bit my tongue to keep from telling him that no, I meant my summer home in Hawaii. It would simply have invited further discussion.

"Mm-hm."

"The _police chief's_ house?"

"No, my other dad's," I finally bit out at him a little more harshly than necessary. _Damn._ So much for keeping it to one-sound answers.

"Wow." To my relief, he was so floored by the whole burglary thing that my sarcasm flew right by him. Of course, on second thought, sarcasm _always_ seemed to fly right by Mike.

"So...wow. Do you think - you know, you could always stay here for a while. I mean, you could have my room. I'll take the couch. My mom won't care. At least, I don't...think my mom would care."

The hopeful look in his eyes was ridiculous - and yet somehow kind enough that I managed not to tell him he'd obviously breathed enough paint fumes already in order to make a suggestion like that, so sleeping on the couch in the freshly painted living room wasn't a great idea.

"Thanks, Mike. But I'll be fine. My dad's, you know, the police chief. He has a gun."

He drew himself up to his entire height - which still wasn't all that impressive. "My dad's got a gun too. We have a lot of them. We...hunt. And stuff."

"Hm." The one-sound answers had been working out so much better. I decided to go back to them.

"Bella, dear?"

I actually could have hugged Mrs. Newton when she returned to the room.

"Yes, ma'am?"

She looked a little perplexed. "You have a visitor, dear."

My heart sped up - Jacob! He was there to save me - at the same time that I felt a little bit smug. This was what Charlie got for lying. Mrs. Newton had no reason to keep me from Jacob.

"Oh! Okay. I'll be right back." I had absolutely no intention of it. _'Please, Jacob,'_ I begged internally. _'Please have the Rabbit. Or your motorcycle. Please.'_

Mrs. Newton looked a little uncertain. "I - well, if you're sure it's all right. You don't think Charlie would mind, do you?"

Yes. I was pretty certain he would.

"No, no. He probably sent Jake to check on me."

She still looked a little uncertain, so I hightailed it through their kitchen to the front door, fully expecting my personal sun to be on the other side.

So I almost passed out on the spot when I rounded the corner to the already open door, and caught a familiar flash of bronze hair - atop a very pale, very worried, unbelievably gorgeous face.

I froze in my tracks, still several feet away from the door.

"Edward..."

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**You guys know the drill! I update whichever story's getting the most reviews. So click that little green button if you want an update sooner rather than later. Reviews are this starving author's bread and butter. :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Stuck In the Middle

**Author's Note:**

**Yay! You guys are wonderful. I was so excited to see more reviews on the last chapter than on previous chapters that I dropped everything and wrote another one. LOL - thank you so much for those reviews. I read each one greedily, multiple times. Please, please continue to review. I _know_ there are more of you out there that aren't reviewing. So if you're enjoying the story, let me hear from you! (Also, please check out my other Twilight story, The Edge of Reason).**

Chapter 7 - In the Middle

"_Edward..."_

What little color might have actually existed in my cheeks drained immediately as I stared at him, standing there in the doorway of Mike Newton's house like some kind of worried Greek god. I was frozen in place, and strangely emotionless - at least, I was strangely emotionless until the sharp stab of pain hit me in the gut like a physical force. Two opposing images from earlier in the morning warred in my head: Edward, pledging to fight for any tiny part of my heart he could, his intention written all over his face that he was going to kiss me until I forgot my own name; and then Edward, jumping out of the window seconds later and disappearing out of my life _again_, leaving me with a completely shattered heart all over again.

So what did it all mean? Why was he here _now? _And how soon until he left again? If anything, I felt more unsure of him now than I had before I'd been to his house.

At first all I could do was keep staring, unable even to move. I had truly never expected to see him again. And I had certainly never expected to hear his soft voice again, filled with relief but also infused with more worry than I'd ever heard from him before even in hallucination, during those long months of his absence when I'd gone through my thrillseeking phase. Why had I ever thought that even such a perfect reproduction could rival the real thing? It would be so easy to get lost in that beautiful sound.

"Bella...thank heavens you're safe." His face was still no less worried, his hand gripping the doorframe so tightly that I feared for the wood. He seemed to be as frozen as I was. "Are you all right?"

It barely even crossed my mind to wonder exactly _why_ he was worried. Only one thought consumed me as the comforting walls of emotionlessness surrounded me again - this couldn't be real. He had _left_ me. _Again. _And it was that thought that colored the next words out of my mouth.

"What are you _doing_ here?"

He took a step inside the doorway. I managed not to retreat this time as I'd done in his bedroom, but he still stopped when I stiffened noticeably. His desire to move closer to me - or have me move closer to him - was readily apparent, but I chalked it up to his not wanting the Newtons to hear what he had to say. So I stood my ground. Another flicker of pain made it through my emotionless walls. This was becoming cruel. I'd never thought that _not_ seeing him could be less painful than seeing him, but I realized in that moment how wrong I'd been. He couldn't keep showing up only to leave again. It was more than I could bear.

"The intruders - they were human?" he demanded with unswerving intensity, still not answering my question. "Are you sure? How many? Did you see them? Did Charlie catch them?"

I could only stare at him. The intruders? How was it even possible that Edward had heard and believed _that_ version of the story - Charlie's lie to Mrs. Newton? And what was I supposed to tell him? Considering that the last time the topic of Jacob had come up Edward had immediately jumped out the window to disappear again, I was going to start by stalling for as long as possible. Because I really wasn't looking forward to telling him that the 'intruder' _was_ human, well at least until he turns into a giant wolf, and that yes, Charlie had _definitely_ caught him - just maybe not in the way Edward meant.

Edward finally released the doorframe he'd been threatening to snap, taking an urgent step toward me, his eyes so intense I almost had to look away. "Bella, please answer me. I understand your reluctance, but I have my reasons for asking. I've already been to your room, but the werewolf scent is too strong for me to pick up anything else. Was Jacob able to detect _anything_ unusual?"

I flinched once at the thought of Edward back in my room again, and then a second time at Jacob's name coming out of Edward's mouth. So much for avoiding that topic...

But for some reason, Edward suddenly seemed much more accepting of Jacob. There was no hostility in his voice at all when he said the name - just that same intense desire for answers that he'd had since the beginning of the conversation. That fact hurt more than it should have. So much for his last words to me before he jumped out his window that morning, the ones about loving me forever; after his original somewhat overdramatic reaction, he'd clearly gotten over the fact that I'd 'moved on.' And he had done so pretty darn fast.

"How did you even hear about that?" I asked, my voice flat, referring to the so-called 'intrusion.'

Edward's eyes flicked over my head, and I knew that Mrs. Newton or Mike had now moved closer, probably wanting to make sure I wasn't about to take off from their house with some boy. Gritting my teeth, I did what I knew was expected of me now, seeing that this conversation was inevitable: I forced my feet to move closer toward the door - and Edward - and called over my shoulder.

"Mrs. Newton? I'll be right back! I'm just going outside to talk to...my friend."

She called a concerned response back to me, one that I knew meant she was probably picking up the phone to call Charlie at that very moment and make sure this was okay. I found that I didn't even care. Edward backed up enough to let me get out the door past him, and then pulled it shut behind me. I'd intended this conversation to happen right there in front of the front door, but before I could stop him Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him, around the house and several hundred feet into the woods behind it. It felt like electricity ran up my arm the second he touched me.

That contact with him was too much. No sooner did his steps stop than I pulled my hand away - noticing that this time he let me go with no protest other than a sad nod of agreement and a brief closing of his eyes.

Fighting for control, I overcompensated and spoke to him more roughly than I intended.

"You didn't answer my question. Where did you hear there was a break-in?"

He answered me immediately this time, eyes still locked on my face - eyes still full of worry, but now mixed with hurt at my refusal of his touch. "From Mrs. Newton. I came here looking for you, and I read it in her thoughts."

Again, I just stared at him. Was he _following_ me? _Why_? But that couldn't be it either, because if he'd followed me here he could have just read Charlie's thoughts on the drive over, and then he would know the _real_ story. And why would he even bother?

My head was spinning, my mind running in circles. Asking coherent questions was taking greater effort by the second.

"But how did you know I was here in the first place?"

His eyes burned into mine, but he seemed to flinch at some memory. He kept his voice to a low murmur, but tension crackled through the low tone.

"I didn't. Alice had a vision of you running down this street alone, crying, but she couldn't see why or when or exactly where you came from. I came here looking for you, going up and down the road listening for anyone who'd seen you. When I got close enough I could hear Mrs. Newton thinking about her conversation with Charlie, and I realized you were here. I wanted to come straight to you then, Bella, but when I heard in her thoughts what had happened at your house I needed to check there first."

Again, that familiar flash of undealt-with anger flared up inside me. It frustrated me as much as I knew it confused and hurt Edward. Damnit, why did I keep doing this? Just before I'd attacked Jacob in my room, I'd been thinking about the fact that I should have _fought_ for Edward - that I should have told him how I felt about him and that what was going on with Jacob was nothing compared to what I felt for _him_. If I'd been so willing to fight for Jacob, I should be a million times more willing to tell Edward what he needed to hear.

But every time his perfect face was in my sight, all I felt was the hurt and the bitter anger and confusion of seven long months - and, of course, the ever present terror that if I gave in and let him have all of me again, I'd end up shattered beyond repair when he inevitably left me again. That fear far outranked even the anger, locking my tongue up once again.

"Why?" The one bitter word was all I could manage, though it carried so many different meanings: why did he need to check my house? why did he even bother? why did he keep leaving me? why couldn't he just stop leaving me and _talk to me_ until I could get past all this anger? why couldn't I just bring myself to talk to _him_?

Whether or not he picked up on any of the other meanings, he only answered the first one.

"My first fear was Victoria, but there's no trace of her anywhere near your house as far as I can tell, though the werewolf scent makes it more difficult. But there's also a brand new situation beginning to develop in Seattle, one which Carlisle is monitoring closely. It's unlikely that there would be danger here, this far from the city, but I don't want to take chances. Please, Bella...I understand your reasons for shutting me out, but it's vital that you answer my question. Are you certain they were human? When Jacob checked it out, did he find _any_thing amiss?"

My head was spinning, a nauseated feeling beginning to flood me. Victoria was so terrifying that the very sound of her name overrode all of my conflicted feelings. Which was fine with me, because I had absolutely no idea how to address his other question without either lying or revealing things I didn't want to.

"Victoria...you don't have to worry about her any more," I lied. _That_ topic I didn't feel so guilty for lying about. I certainly didn't want him staying in Forks out of a misguided sense of obligation. "Jacob and the pack chased her into the water right before I jumped off the cliff. They've not seen her since. What's going on in Seattle?"

In typical Edward form, he didn't give me a straight answer. He just looked at me with unbelievable pain and guilt in his eyes - especially when I mentioned my cliff diving incident and the fact that protecting me had been Jake's responsibility in recent days. I had to either look away or risk losing my stoic outward demeanor, so I looked away. His hand lifted for just a moment, as though he thought about touching my face and then thought better of it.

"I should have been there this morning, Bella," he told me barely above a whisper. "I should have been here all along. I'm so sorry - both for my reaction this morning, and for leaving you alone yet again. It's my fault that you were in danger again. If you don't want to see me, you don't have to. But I promise you I _will _be here. You won't be left unprotected again, for even a moment."

I couldn't take it anymore. I stepped back, putting some space between us.

"There _was_ no break-in, Edward," I told him desperately, raising my voice slightly to compensate for how shaky I sounded. "Nobody broke into my house. _Nobody_ - human or otherwise. Everything's fine."

He blinked in surprise. And then his eyes narrowed. "I don't understand. Mrs. Newton certainly believes that someone did." He looked toward the Newton house, and cringed a little at whatever thoughts he heard there. "As does _Mike_, apparently," he threw in through clenched teeth.

Great. So Mike - while his concern for my wellbeing had obviously been earnest - was still figuring out how to play the white knight card and get a reward from the damsel-in-distress. Fantastic. Like I really needed a third knight in shining armor at this point. I was having a difficult enough time juggling the first two, without letting my own heart crash to the ground in the process.

"Please don't lie to me, Bella," Edward implored.

"I'm not lying to you." I tried to sound as convincing as possible, considering how sick I felt all of a sudden. "_Charlie_ lied to _her._"

More than anything else at this point, I just needed this conversation to end. I suddenly and desperately needed to be somewhere he wasn't. I really didn't want Edward watching me lose my meager breakfast I'd choked down in the car on the way over to keep from having to talk to Charlie any more; but if I kept having to hear his oh-so-convincing gentle voice and see his concerned face, knowing he couldn't be trusted not to jump out a window at the first sign of trouble, I was going to lose my sanity.

"Why?" Edward asked softly, studying me carefully. "Why would he say something like that? Bella, whatever you think of me, please tell me everything."

That was the problem...

"He had his reasons for wanting me out of the house today. I don't really want to talk about it."

Edward probably wouldn't have let it go, but at that exact moment another thought occurred to me - and I was suddenly absolutely _certain_ I was going to throw up. Dizziness hit me like a ton of bricks - along with pure, hot fury.

Speaking of lies...

I could hear the barely restrained rage in my voice when I issued my next clipped question. "Wait - you've talked to _Alice_ since I left this morning? When? _Where?_"

A look of confusion marred his features for a second as he studied me, and I recognized the fact that he was wishing for the upteenth time that he could hear my thoughts.

"At home, after I returned. Why?"

I started to shake with anger, and for one absolutely inane second I wondered if this was how Jacob felt right before he phased. _Jacob_. The thought only made me more furious - because he was at the very center of why this upset me so much.

"You - you went _home_ already? You made me think you were _leaving_! I thought you were _gone_ again!" My voice climbed slightly higher than it needed to when the Newtons could easily open their back door and come looking for me.

Edward looked even more confused about why the fact that he _hadn't _left this time was making me so angry, but it made perfect sense to me:

If I hadn't truly believed he had taken off again, I certainly wouldn't have been trying to seduce my best friend in my bedroom that morning.

Oh God.

The enormity of what might have happened if Jacob hadn't felt my tears and hadn't had more sense than both of us finally hit me. What had I nearly done to all of us?

A concern that I didn't want filled Edward's features, and I only shook harder. I didn't _want_ the concern of the one I'd betrayed - of the one that had betrayed _me _first_. _I didn't want _any_thing else from him right then. What I really wanted at that exact moment was a window of my own to jump out, partly from anger at Edward and partly from my own shame. I knew it wasn't really fair to blame Edward for what _I_ had nearly done with Jacob on impulse, but then nothing about this situation was fair.

"No, Bella," he answered me quietly but urgently. "I never had any intention of leaving you alone again like before. I was trying to give _you_ space. I always intended to return this morning."

Humiliation added even more anger to my voice as I thought I read between the lines of that one, my face beginning to burn. "When? Just as soon as you realized I was out of your house? If you were so desperate to escape me again, Edward, you didn't have to jump out a window and pretend to be gone forever again! I could have saved you the trouble. I didn't _want_ to be there, remember?"

Edward froze into place, his words still directed at me although his nostrils suddenly flared and his jaw suddenly clenched. I was so focused on him that it never even crossed my mind that he might have smelled something that caused that reaction.

"You know why I left, Bella," he implored, searching my eyes. "I didn't realize you had moved on. I didn't see that in Jacob's thoughts at the airport. I left because I refuse to disrupt your happiness yet again. If you've made your choice I'll accept it, but I'll not leave again. I'll protect you from a distance if need be, but I _will_ protect you."

I opened my mouth to clear up every misconception he had...

Until an irreverent chuckle sounded out from behind me, and I froze in place, recognizing it.

"You jumped out the window? Nice."

I didn't have to turn around to see the owner of the voice coming up behind me.

Even if I didn't recognize the voice, the look on Edward's face told me everything I needed to know. His lips pulled back across his teeth, baring them slightly, as a low growl built in his chest. It seemed to take every ounce of restraint he had not to spring.

"Well if you decide to do it again, don't let me stop you," Jacob continued to taunt Edward, as he walked up and wrapped a hot arm around my shoulders. "We don't need you around here anyway. Bella doesn't need your _protection._"

Edward snarled, hatred filling his eyes. "You'd better hope you're right about that, arrogant dog. Because if you ever let anything happen to her, your life is forfeit."

Jacob just smirked. "Anything she doesn't _want_ to happen_, _you mean. Right, bloodsucker?"

And then silence reigned for a few seconds, Edward hissed sharply, and I wanted the forest floor to open up and swallow me. Because I knew exactly what Edward was witnessing through Jacob's thoughts: me, pushing Jacob against my bedroom wall in the dark, his tongue in my mouth while I struggled to unbutton his shorts. And I had a feeling Jacob probably cut off that particular memory before the point where everything abruptly stopped with my tears over Edward having left again.

"That was just in case you had any doubts about that choice you were talking about," Jacob spit out viciously, his smirk gone as he stared Edward down. "She's _made_ her choice."

Edward inhaled deeply as I looked on in utter shame, his eyes fluttering shut and then back open with a look that was cold steel as he got himself under control.

And then he struck back.

"Very well. All I want is for Bella to be happy. But while we're on the topic of doubts, have no _doubt_ about _this_, Jacob," he hissed. "If you _ever_ phase in her presence and hurt her - I don't care if it's tomorrow or fifty years from now - I _will_ take you apart piece by piece."

I couldn't even move. I wanted more than anything to tell Edward that my choice _was _made, but not in the way Jacob thought. But how could I possibly even debate what Jacob had said in front of him? If I told the truth, it would destroy him - and then he'd attack Edward and get himself killed. But if I didn't - Edward...

_Edward..._

The world seemed to tilt itself, like it would slide right out from under me as everything came crashing down around me.

But Edward's words had also had an effect on Jacob, one that drew my attention. Some of Jacob's self-assured swagger seemed to desert him - and suddenly he was vibrating, with me right there under his arm. I tried to move away, but couldn't.

"Hurt her?" Jacob repeated in a tone that was so furiously quiet it was scary - but his voice grew louder and more angry with every word. "You want to talk about hurting her, you filthy leech? I'll _show _you _hurting_ her!" Jacob bit out the last part through clenched teeth. He was dangerously close to phasing and I knew it.

Apparently so did Edward. Fury rolled in the depths of his black eyes.

"I meant what I said just now, Jacob Black. Take your hands off her and step away before I take them off _for_ you," Edward seethed, pushing forward a step - and then he stopped and gasped.

For half a second I tensed, not knowing what was happening - until I looked at Edward's eyes which were suddenly staring into nothing with the most pained expression I'd ever seen.

And just as suddenly, I realized what was happening: Jacob was keeping his promise to show Edward his idea of what hurting me meant - through his own memories of what Edward had done.

"Jake! Jake, STOP! That's enough!" I pulled ineffectually at his arm, but even if I could've freed myself I could have done nothing to stop the torrent of thoughts he was throwing at Edward, thoughts that I couldn't see but _knew_ included what a shell of myself I'd been when Edward left.

"Months!" Jacob spat, ignoring me like I wasn't even there. "Do you even care what you put her through? Do you even _know?_ Because I'll tell you. However bad you thought it was from what the little psychic leech told you, or whatever you saw when you started picking through mine and Charlie's brains at the airport? Well it was _worse. _She looked _dead_ the first time she came to me. She still can't even hear your damn _name_ without wrapping her arms around herself like somebody _punched_ her! She didn't eat or speak for _days _after you left her to die in the woods. And she kept getting so thin even after that, that I was terrified she'd break when she fell off that goddamn motorcycle - the one I had to watch her risk her life on over and over again because riding and falling off of the freaking thing was the only thing that made her smile."

I felt Jacob's arm tighten around me as he took one more step closer to Edward, hauling me along - and I knew he wasn't finished. But he stopped yelling and his voice dropped low - somehow bringing even more emphasis to his next words.

"She closed her eyes and mouthed that she _loved_ you when the dreadlocked leech was getting ready to snap her in two in that stupid meadow she was so determined to find. If the pack hadn't been there she'd be dead right _now, _and what's even worse is I don't think she'd have even cared. I've had nightmares about the fact that I'm pretty sure she'd have been just as happy if I'd _left_ her underwater when she jumped off that damn cliff, and I don't _need_ a mindreading bloodsucker to tell me you're the reason behind _all _of it!"

Jacob let me go at that point - pushing me behind him a little roughly - and took two angry steps toward Edward. His voice was deadly, his words clipped: "So don't YOU. Even _talk _to ME. About _hurting her_!"

Edward stood his ground, but all of the fight had gone out of his expression.

"Bella..." he whispered staring into my eyes for a moment with more guilt than I'd have ever imagined possible. I couldn't even breathe. And then, without waiting for a reply, he turned his tortured expression to Jacob. "You're right."

"No..." I heard myself whisper, as all of the anger suddenly seemed to release me. Jake had done a pretty effective job of listing most of the things I'd been so upset about - but even in my most angry moments I'd never wanted to watch Edward suffer through watching them scroll across an eyewitness's memory. Never.

"I owe you my gratitude, Jacob," Edward told him softly as I watched in horror. "If not for you..."

"Yeah, you're right _'if not for me_,'" Jacob pushed out in disgust, with none of the graciousness that radiated from Edward. "You won't even fight me, will you? You're just going to walk away like the coward you are. You're just going to give her up. Again."

Edward's hands balled into fists, but he didn't move from his spot. "You have no idea how I'd love to skin you, mongrel," he pushed out through clenched teeth. "But you protected Bella when I didn't, so I'm in your debt. And if that weren't enough to restrain me from doing what I'd like, the fact that it would hurt Bella certainly is. But have no illusions about this fact: if she changes her mind, I'll be right there waiting to take her away from you. No questions asked."

Edward paused, while I wondered if he could hear my suddenly racing heartbeat; and then his calm, velvet voice became more deadly than I'd ever heard it.

"Or if _you _do. Because the fact is that you _might_ change your mind one day, mightn't you, Jacob?"

Jacob flinched, and I stared at his back in horror. That flinch told me everything I needed to know - whatever Edward was talking about, for whatever reason, there _was_ a chance of Jacob leaving me. And worse, he _knew_ it. The thought of Edward leaving me again was the worst reality imaginable, but at least one to which I'd already become resigned as being inevitable. But if Edward left...and then Jacob left...

Jacob obviously felt as furious as I felt betrayed. He moved even closer to Edward and spoke in a low voice. "Why don't you shut the hell up before I _shut_ you up? That's not going to happen."

I took a step back when I noticed just exactly how much Edward looked like a vampire at that point - and I knew Jacob had taken the taunting one step too far.

"You wanted me in your head, didn't you Jacob? Perhaps you should have kept certain thoughts to yourself."

Jacob shook his head in disgust. "You really are a cold heartless bastard aren't you? How can you even think of putting that on her right now?"

Edward almost smiled - a tiny, harsh smile utterly devoid of any happiness. "So you _haven't_ told her. Don't you think she has a right to know _all_ of the possibilities? That your 'love' could disappear in a heartbeat if you imprint on someone else? If you don't tell her and she ends up getting hurt, how can you claim to be any better than me? How is that better than what I did? At least I left her to protect her."

The two were slowly gravitating toward each other, but I was too busy trying not to hyperventilate. Imprint? What the hell was going on?

"At least I _do_ love her," Jacob retorted. "And at least _my _abandoning her would be involuntary. You _never_ loved her - not if you could walk away like you did."

In a flash faster than lightning, Edward was in Jacob's face. I half gasped, half whimpered in surprise - especially when I heard Edward's violently controlled voice.

"Don't tempt me, mutt. You don't have the first idea what you're talking about, and my patience is far, far from perfect in this instance. You know nothing about me."

"Stop it!" I finally yelled. "Both of you!"

They continued to circle one another, nose to nose, Jacob quivering from head to toe while Edward snarled from a half-crouch.

"Dammit, I said STOP!" Faster than I thought I could move, I was there trying to push the two of them apart. It was definitely an exercise in futility. The thought of me being able to budge either of them was so ridiculous it didn't bear considering.

And then everything happened so fast.

I was distantly aware of the fact that Jacob was starting to phase.

I heard Edward's shout of "NO," deafening to my ears.

Something hit me and I went flying.

And then vicious snarls filled the air as the werewolf and the vampire started trying to take one another apart. I wasn't even sure which one had knocked me out of the way and which one had retaliated for that action. All I knew is that Edward and Jacob were trying to kill one another.

Because of me.

I had a sudden image of myself as poison - a vicious, horrible poison that corroded everything I touched. No wonder Edward kept leaving me. No wonder Jacob _would_. For the first time in days, my path was clear.

"Both of you stay away from me," I whispered.

It was unbelievable that such a tiny sound should be able to stop such a fierce battle.

But it did.

A huge wolf and a terrifying vampire stopped snapping and striking at each other, both of them turning to stare at me as I started to tremble, backing away.

"I mean it. Don't either of you follow me. Don't either of you _touch _me. I don't want to see you again. Ever."

Both took a step toward me. And then I fulfilled Alice's vision.

Running out of the woods into the now bright sunlight, I ran back around the Newton's house and onto the road, running back toward my house as fast as I could go, tears streaming down my face as I fought for air past the gasping sobs.

Only one thought filled my mind as I ran:  
Never bet against Alice.

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**Okay, I LOVE Edward. Adore him. But I've got to tell you that the things Jake said to him in this chapter? I've _always_ wished he could have said every word of that to Edward in the books/movie. I just think maybe getting all that off his chest might've done the furry one some good. 'Cause I really do love Jake too. **

**So...Edward and Bella aren't any closer. _But_ now she's apart from Jacob... hehe... here we go, kids! Leave reviews to make me write faster...**


	8. Chapter 8: Nowhere

Chapter 8 - Nowhere

I ran until my legs burned, and my lungs screamed for more air. When I thought I would surely fall to the ground, I only pushed faster. The physical pain was welcome. Anything was better than the pain in my heart. For once, I _wished_ for the empty hole I'd had in my chest all those months. It would seem like pleasure compared to the heartache I felt now.

I ended up running all the way home, hitting my front door at top speed. It was a good thing it was unlocked and the knob turned easily under my hand - had it not, I might have seriously hurt myself. I'm not sure I'd have noticed; all I could think about was getting away: from Edward, from Jacob, from Forks, even from Charlie. It was odd, I realized, as Charlie crossed my mind. I knew I looked like him, and it had always seemed that I'd inherited his steady temperament. But all that aside, the Renee gene must run strong after all. It'd just been lying dormant all this time. I needed _out. _

Running up the stairs to my room through my gasping sobs, I threw a few clothes in a small bag. I removed my stash of cash from its hiding place, throwing it into the bag as well, along with my very recently used passport with an Italy stamp on it. I also grabbed the bank card I would need to withdraw the rest of my college savings. I'd had quite enough education already, thank you very much, compliments of the town vampires and werewolves. I needed to be somewhere with considerably lower concentrations of both. I was now going to put this money to a much better purpose. It was almost laughable - the thought of focusing on calculus or science when the world was full of things that didn't conform to any convention of science.

I had my truck cranked rumbling at top speed - the entire 56 miles per hour I could coax out of the ancient bucket of bolts - making my way out of town within five minutes of running through my door. I hadn't even caught my breath yet.

ooo

It was a little anticlimactic when I pulled into a small, secluded hotel somewhere along the route to the Canadian border many, many hours later. I'd only made one stop along the way, and that had been at the bank back in Forks. For a half second, I'd thought the teller was going to call Charlie to check up on me. This was exactly why I hated small towns. But thank God I was 18, the account was in my name, and I was Chief Swan's goody-two-shoes adorably klutzy daughter. In the end, they'd let me walk right out of the bank with my fat wad of cash and the innocent smile I'd somehow managed to work up. At that point, despite the pain wracking my entire chest in waves, I could have pulled off anything in the name of getting away - even pretending to be cheerful.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening almost painfully tense behind the wheel of my truck, waiting for a huge wolf or marble vampire to suddenly appear in front of me and give me no choice but to slam on my brakes.

And yet, as I checked in to a dingy little room late that night, the ache in my chest intensified at the realization that neither of them had followed me or tried to stop me. It was both selfish and immature to wish that they had, especially knowing that I'd have very insistently made them leave if they had done so.

But it still hurt. Not to mention, there was at least some fear there. What if Victoria had followed me? What if she was looking for me at that very moment?

As though it would do any good, I double checked the chain lock on the door to my room.

And then I relaxed. If Victoria wanted me, I couldn't stop her. There was almost some comfort in that - there was really no sense in worrying about it.

Finally alone, I fell into the surprisingly comfortable hotel bed without even changing my clothes, pulling the covers up warmly to my chin. I was asleep in minutes.

ooo

After months of nightmares, that night I slept soundly. Maybe it was just pure exhaustion. Maybe it was the promise of a fresh start, away from everyone who knew me. Whatever the reason, I saw neither of their faces that night.

When I awoke, I reached into my bag and pulled out my wad of cash. Doing some quick figures in my head, I realized with some terror that I wouldn't be able to keep this up for very long - not without a job. But I wasn't going back.

I would just have to find a job.

But not here. The money I had would get me a little farther still. If I was extremely thrifty, I had at least a couple weeks before I would start to run low.

Ignoring the growling in my belly, I checked out of the hotel and drove away, ignoring all of the food places in town. I would make it a lot farther on the money I had if I didn't waste it on nonessentials.

That pattern continued throughout the day. Twice I almost decided to stop for food. Twice I talked myself out of it. I needed distance far more than I needed nourishment. There'd be time for that later. What I needed to be spending money on was gas and shelter.

Without eating a bite all day, I fell into another hotel bed that night. I still didn't bother changing clothes.

ooo

The following morning, it happened.

When I checked out of my room and made my way to my truck, I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw what was sitting in the driver's seat.

It was just a small white paper bag, maybe lunchbag size. But as I whirled around in a circle looking all around, my heart thudded.

Had Victoria found me? What was I going to find inside that bag? I imagined all kinds of horrifying, grisly possibilities.

My fear turned to pure blinding rage when I gingerly opened the bag and held my breath as I peeked inside.

A bagel. A container of cream cheese. An apple. A carton of milk.

It smelled delicious. The bagel was still hot. The freaking milk was still cold.

_Damn_ whichever one of them it was.

I'd never wanted to eat anything so badly in my life.

But no way was I encouraging this behavior. I needed to be away from both of them as desperately as they needed to be away from me, whether they realized it or not.

I turned around and hurled the whole bag into the parking lot behind me before cranking my truck and driving away, shaking all over.

One of them had found me. But which one?

ooo

I realized many miles down the road that the answer to that question was in the food choice. Of the two, which could be counted on to be obsessive about my health? The bagel was whole wheat. The cream cheese was light. The milk was skim.

And an _apple? _Subtle.

Edward might as well have written me a cute little note and stuck it in the bag like my mom used to do when she was going through a health food kick, her effort to soften the blow of having celery sticks and carrots in my bag when the other kids had chocolate chip cookies.

Not that I'd have accepted food from Jacob either, but the type of food made me equally certain it _couldn't_ have been him. He would have just offered me an entire slab of bacon, some sausage, and basically the total meat-eater breakfast of champions and giant werewolves everywhere. The very thought made my stomach growl.

A stab of pain hit my heart, though, when I wondered where Jacob _was_. Had he just taken me at my word and given up on me? Or had what Edward had mentioned in the woods behind Mike Newton's house already occurred...had Jacob already 'imprinted' or whatever and changed his mind about me?

It was too dizzying to contemplate, especially when I didn't even know what it meant. So I turned my mind back to the road, and to getting as far away as possible.

ooo

I watched out of the corners of my eyes for Edward the rest of the day, half wishing I would see him and half dreading sending him away if I did.

Of one thing I was absolutely certain: it was Edward who was following me. It was strangely comforting to know at least _one_ thing for sure.

So imagine my surprise when I climbed back into my truck from a late afternoon rest and bathroom break at a McDonald's - where I still stubbornly refused to spend any of my precious resources on food - and came face to face with the latest food offering from another nearby business.

I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't have bought me the world's greasiest - and absolutely delicious smelling - pizza loaded with pepperoni and meat. An extra large. Deep pan. Stuffed crust.

Between that and the can of warm soda sitting in a bag on top of the pizza box, it just _screamed_ Jacob.

Again, I whirled around looking for the guilty party, but with a little less urgency this time since I was no longer terrified it was from Victoria. The only possibility of it being from Victoria was if she'd poisoned it, and that was just completely ridiculous. Victoria would have no need to go to such lengths. No, it definitely had to be from Jacob. So it was _Jacob _following me.

I hesitated as I prepared to discard every bit of it. My body trembled all over from my massive blood sugar plummet, compliments of not having eaten for a couple days. Not to mention it wasn't as easy to throw away something I knew _Jacob_ had spent money on - he didn't have piles of it lying around like Edward. I'd feel guilty ruining this particular offering. I spied a homeless man sleeping on a bench nearby. Tiptoeing over, I set the pizza on the ground just beside him. I was going to get rid of the drink too. But after a moment's hesitation, I held onto the soda and ran back for my truck. Popping the lid, I guzzled it greedily. It only intensified my hunger.

Dropping my head to the wheel, I resorted to talking to myself.

"Hold it together, Bella. You don't have enough money for food. Just stick to the plan."

Pep talk done, and my stomach growling ferociously, I started driving again - this time, keeping my eyes open for a large russet wolf.

ooo

I blinked in surprise...again.

Clearly I had been right the first time. It had to have been Edward all along.

Because I was fairly certain Jacob didn't have access to two thousand dollars, which was what greeted me the next time I opened my truck. I counted the rolls of hundred-dollar bills at least three times.

And then I gritted my teeth. I knew _exactly _why money was appearing now instead of food.

No more talking to myself. Damn vampire hearing.

I spoke through clenched teeth again, but this time not to myself. I knew he could hear me.

"I said to stay away from me. I don't want your money. I don't want your help. Just go away."

I kept the money in my lap as I drove along. I'd reached a big city, but I was so out of it that I wasn't even sure which one. I headed straight for downtown, knowing I'd find what I was looking for in short order.

And eventually I did. A young girl, no older than me, and clearly homeless. She lay in dirty clothes under a highway overpass. But even from where I pulled my truck over beneath the overpass, I could see that her eyes were bright and lucid. She was no druggie. Maybe she was in the same type of situation as me. Maybe she just needed a little help.

Maybe she had just needed to get away from something.

If Edward had still been gone, I probably would have heard his voice in my head when I climbed out of my truck and approached her. If she thought I was going after her territory, she could probably be dangerous.

So I held the wad of money out in front of me like a shield.

"Here."

She stared at me, eyes wide, before speaking in a voice raspy with disuse. "What's the con?"

"Nothing. Here, take it. I don't want it."

The girl's eyes flicked back and forth from the money to my face, clearly suspicious. "I don't need any more trouble."

I shook my head. "There's no trouble. I know this seems crazy. But it's mine, and I'm really just giving it to you."

She licked her lips in undisguised hunger, her resolve weakening. My stomach growled in sympathy. "There's gotta be a thousand dollars there."

"Two," I fired back instantly, and watched her jaw go slack. I waved the wad of unwanted cash at her. "It'll get you off the streets. Help you find a place to stay and get a job."

"You some kind of do-gooder?"

A small smile touched my lips as I watched hope flicker across her expression. I remembered that feeling. I used to have a lot of it before Edward crushed my soul.

"Something like that. It's a special scholarship from the...Cullen Foundation."

She was openly smiling back at me now as she reached out and took it. "Cullen Foundation?"

"Mmm. You should probably hide that."

I turned to go, and was surprised to hear the girl scramble to her feet.

"Hey, wait! Did you get a scholarship too? You work for them now and they couldn't even give you some decent clothes?"

Looking down at the clothes I hadn't taken off in days, I could understand why she thought that. Between my beat up truck and unkempt appearance, she had to assume I was homeless too. So it wasn't really her fault...but I gritted my teeth in frustration anyway, becuase I now halfway expected to find a clean set of clothes next time I stopped somewhere and came back to my truck. I didn't even turn back around to answer her.

"Not exactly. That was actually my, um, scholarship. I just don't want it. I'm happy where I am. I'm...transferring it to you."

I was halfway in my truck when she appeared right behind me. "Hey, listen...I'm going to get a room for the night. The least I can do is let you stay with me. You should get _something_ out of this."

Tears sprang unbidden to my eyes at her kindness. I'd made a good decision.

"It's okay." I hesitated briefly. "But come on. I'll drop you off at a hotel."

And I did exactly that, learning only that her name was Hannah before I dropped her off at one of the nicer places in town and sped away as fast as my truck would take me.

I was 10 miles away before I realized I'd never even told her my own name.

ooo

Playing mental chess with a vampire - and possibly a werewolf too, since I still suspected Jacob might have had something to do with the pizza and warm soda - was not exactly easy.

I'd not accepted food. So they'd just left money.

I'd given away the money, and declared victory.

I should have known the game wasn't over.

He - or he - or they - had apparently decided to force my hand.

The next time I pulled off the highway, it was into the parking lot of a small sub sandwich shop in the middle of nowhere. Intending to run in only long enough to use the bathroom and be on my way again, I returned to find that my truck refused to crank.

Undaunted, I popped the hood and stared at the mysterious inner workings of my truck until a kind looking older man stopped by - the type that looked like he probably had 15 grandkids my age.

"Car trouble, Miss?"

"Um, yes," I managed to respond politely. I was so hungry by that point that I wanted to snap his head off for asking such an idiotic question. Did he think I was just standing there staring under the hood for my health?

He puttered around under the hood for a couple minutes, then turned kind eyes on me.

"You leave this truck here for long?"

I shook my head, suspicion growing in me. "No. Not even five minutes. Why?"

"Well, because somebody stole your spark plugs. No way this truck is starting. And there's not a parts store around here for miles. Nothing but this sandwich shop. Never did understand why they opened in the middle of nowhere, but I live just down the street so it works out okay for me." He closed the hood and turned kind eyes on me. "But unless you're looking to buy a sandwich, there's nothing else to do here but wait until I can find you some spark plugs."

I closed my eyes briefly as the pieces fell into place. The little old man didn't realize it, but he'd just hit the nail on the head. There was _nothing _for someone stranded in this place to do...other than eat.

I was going to kill them both. Regardless of which one was responsible. Regardless of the fact that one couldn't even _die._ I couldn't place clear blame on this one - Jacob was a mechanic, and Edward was just relentless about getting his own way, which at the moment obviously involved me eating. So it could be either of them. Or even _both._ With my luck, they were working_ together_ now to torture me.

"Oh, well I..." I hesitated, unsure whether to offer to go with my Good Samaritan to pay for the parts. Even in my downward spiral, I wasn't truly sure that jumping in the car with a random stranger - even such a nice one - was a good idea.

The kindly old man smiled. "I'll be right back. I'll just go pick some up for you. But in the meantime, why don't you go inside and have something to eat? It's gonna take a while, and you look a little thin." He looked me up and down, seeming to only have just noticed my appearance. "Do you need money, hon?"

Again, tears pricked my eyes. Leave it to me to be borderline rude to the one truly courteous man left in the Southwest.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"No problem."

I turned around, defeated, and stumbled inside. Their plan had almost worked. I almost decided a lousy five bucks was worth it to stop the hunger pangs in my stomach.

If they'd left it at that, I'd have bought a stupid sandwich and ate it. Maybe even two of them.

But when I walked back in the door and up to the counter and pulled out some money, the bored looking girl behind the counter waved me off and smiled at me.

"Yours is on the house."

I saw red. "Describe him. Please."

Her eyes grew wide, and she denied that anybody had paid for my food - but I saw her eyes glance toward the tip jar and then the emergency exit, and there was only one person I knew of who would stick a 50 dollar bill in a sandwich shop tip jar and then slide out a back door.

I only threw three words at her as I turned around and marched out the door, my furious face a bright red. "I'm not hungry."

ooo

I didn't wait around for the nice old man with the spark plugs.

Forgetting my earlier (wise) decision that jumping in the car with a random stranger was _not good_, I made up my mind that I was getting farther down the road _right then, _one way or the other, and neither overprotective vampires nor territorial werewolves were going to stop me. And the way I had in mind was going to be much easier if I at least looked and smelled presentable.

Grabbing my bag from my useless truck, I washed up in the sandwich shop bathroom, and even combed my hair and put on clean clothes. Then I marched down to the main highway and stuck my thumb out at the first passing car. Beginner's luck...the first vehicle slammed to a stop right beside me.

The ratty old pickup truck was more beat up than mine, and the guy driving was even more questionable than his truck. I was almost certain I smelled alcohol on his breath. Charlie would have a massive coronary. Jacob would tell me I was an idiot.

And Edward...

Edward would be so furious he'd probably physically explode into little bite-size vampire pieces.

Good.

"Hey, sweetheart...need a lift?"

The way the 20-something, scruffy guy leered at me set me instantly at ill ease...but I ignored it.

"Yeah...I just need to get to the nearest hotel. Can you help me? I can pay you..." I trailed off hesitantly, feeling the beginnings of fear. My eyes scanned the trees, but there was no sign of Edward or Jacob. Was I on my own with this? I'd actually kind of expected them to stop me; and I'd been so furious, maybe that was exactly what I wanted: to do something I knew would _force_ a confrontation so I'd have a chance to tell them what I thought of their interference.

The guy in the truck nodded his agreement directly at my breasts, and I gritted my teeth. I could feel his eyes on my rear end as I walked around the truck.

At the last possible second, I bypassed the passenger door and hopped in the back of his pickup truck. I wasn't quite self-destructive enough to get in the cab with him, at least. Actually, I was ready to pull the plug on this entire idea, but I wasn't quite sure how to get out of it now.

ooo

The next town, home of the local roach motel, was by some miracle smaller than the _last_ town. In fact, there didn't appear to be anybody around for miles, and the hotel backed up to a dense stand of trees.

But I breathed a sigh of relief as the guy pulled in to the hotel as promised...and then tensed as he kept on going right to the other side of a huge sign that blocked us out of sight from the building.

I scrambled out of the back to the ground, clutching my bag uneasily as I tried to back away. Unfortunately, he was faster than me - and a lot bigger, I could see, now that he was out of the truck. Tall, muscular...and dangerous. And thanks to his quick maneuvering, the only place I had to back was right up against the side of his truck as he slowly started to crowd me.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to stay calm.

"Thanks for the ride. I, uh...I've got some money..." I stammered, trailing off noticeably as I pulled the bag protectively in front of me, like a shield between the two of us.

Faster than I could even step back again, the guy flipped open a small knife and had it pointed at me. "Yeah, I figured as much. I'll be glad to take that off your hands for you." He waved the knife in the direction of my bag. "Niiiice and slow, pretty girl."

I thought I heard a growl, followed by a snarl and a snap, and my heart soared for just a second. But when nobody showed up to help me, I decided I must have imagined it. I was going to have to do this without supernatural help.

Carefully, I reached into my bag and pulled out a _very_ small wad of bills, what I'd already intended to give the man for my ride.

I held it out with my palm up, offering it to him as I held my breath.

As I'd feared he didn't take it. His eyes narrowed, and he jabbed the knife threateningly at me.

"Bag."

The one word command was all it took. I slipped the bag off my shoulder, holding it out to him, my knees trembling under me. Where the hell was Edward...Jacob...Edward...whoever?

It took about two swipes through the bag for him to find the rest of my cash and realize I'd been lying.

Dangerous eyes flashed angrily as he dropped the bag at his feet and advanced a step toward me. He waved the knife menacingly toward my face, and I whimpered, drawing back more tightly against the truck.

"Awfully stingy for such a rich girl, aren't you?" With a cruel sneer, his eyes traveled down me and back up. "But you know, there's other ways a pretty little thing like you could pay me..."

ooo

From somewhere nearby, vicious snarls and growls broke out, followed by what almost sounded like cracks of thunder.

It diverted both of our attention in that direction, but I recovered more quickly - quickly enough that I was able to blindly throw a knee at the disgusting man in front of me.

I missed...kind of.

I connected solidly enough with his stomach, but that was just slightly higher than my intended target. And it had a much less satisfying effect.

He doubled slightly, but still retained enough presence of mind to shoot a hand out and grab my throat, slamming me against his truck and stopping my escape attempt.

"You're going to regret that, you little bitch," he hissed through clenched teeth.

The snarls, growls and thuds continued...Jesus, they were fighting _now? _Despite my terror of my attacker, tears filled my eyes. They were this close, watching, and hadn't intervened? Even when I had a _knife_ in my face? And now they were too busy fighting with _each other _to help me_? _Could I really mean so little to either of them? Did it really all boil down to some sort of testosterone contest and I was just the lucky girl caught in the middle? I was starting to hate them both.

My eyes widened, my mouth opening to scream as the man's hand reached out and grabbed the top of my shirt, preparing to rip it.

Despite my fury at both of them, two words shot out of my lips in rapid fire succession in a bloodcurdling scream...

"EDWARD! JAKE!"

And then the snarling stopped.

And then, with a jolt that knocked me hard back into the truck, the man disappeared so fast that I didn't even see it happen - but I definitely heard him scream. Repeatedly.

And then I turned around and ran headlong into the forest behind the motel, stumbling and crying and gasping - until I collapsed sobbing on the forest floor, curled up in a ball, and mercifully passed out.

ooo

The next thing I became aware of was the low murmur of voices, as though in a dream. It took more effort than it seemed like it should have, but somehow I started to make sense of the angry words - and to separate out the voices.

My eyes felt like they were rolling around in my head as I forced them open, two very blurry faces swimming above me.

And then both voices merged with the realization that I was awake.

"Bella!"

"Bells!"

Both heads leaned closer to me, and it almost looked like there was some mild shoving back and forth as they each tried to get closer, jockeying for position. Everything was too blurry to really be sure. All I knew was that for some reason one of my hands was freezing, and the other was burning up. Both were being squeezed so tightly that it almost hurt.

But after a moment, the effort to keep my eyes open was too much, and I felt them roll back in my head and close again. But this time, I didn't lose consciousness. I could hear everything going on around me...every single word.

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**Hmmm...so why were Jake and Edward fighting, and why the _heck_ didn't they step in sooner? Did they have a good reason for not stopping her? Well you know they did! Otherwise she'd have never made it off the Newtons' street and we all know it. But what _is _that reason? You'll find out in the next chapter. :)**

**And please, please, please hit that little green button. I'm dying to get to 100 reviews here. If everybody that reviewed last chapter will review again, I'll get there. C'mon guys, I'm counting on you. :)**


	9. Chapter 9: Rock Bottom

Chapter 9 - Rock Bottom

They must have both thought I was unconscious again, because the arguing started immediately. And this time, even though I was too weak to even open my eyes, I could hear every word.

"She could have been killed. Or worse. Do you realize that?" Edward, of course, in that deadly low, calm voice that meant he was at his most furious. "Had you not stopped fighting me when you did, I _would _have killed you to get to her - though I would not have relished explaining it to Bella later." It sounded like he was grinding his teeth together with his next words, some of his turn-of-the-century formality slipping in favor of his utter anger. "And for reasons I fail to understand, she'd have never forgiven me for your death. Why the _hell_ did you phase and attack me when she was in danger?"

I could easily imagine the look on Jacob's face when I heard his response, and I knew his eyes were probably bugging out of his head.

"Are you kidding me? You're the mindreader, leech! You know _exactly_ why I stopped you. She hadn't called out for us yet. You _know _that's what I was waiting for, or at least you should - you've been like a damn broken record about it for three days! _'We must work together on this, Jacob. You heard Alice, Jacob - it's absolutely vital that we not approach her until she requests our presence, and then it must be together, Jacob. We must put Bella's well-being above our own feelings, Jacob.'_"

It was actually a pretty decent imitation of Edward's voice. But Jacob had more to say, in his own angry voice.

"You and the creepy little psychic had me completely convinced Bella'd either end up dead or even _more_ nuts if either one of us approached her before she called out for our help! So yeah, I phased and stopped you from intervening until she did. I'm _not _going to just stand aside and let you hurt her again! Which, by the way, speaking of dead or crazy, I haven't forgotten that it's a small miracle she didn't _already_ land in the morgue or the psych ward anyway thanks to you, about a week after you left her to die in the woods the first time_._ You weren't too worried about her then. So why all this sudden concern now? You're such a damn hypocrite!"

There was a brief silence, during which I could almost picture Edward glaring at Jacob dangerously as he fought to control himself. His next words were clipped, pushed out through tightly gritted teeth, not allowing Jacob to pull him off topic.

"Answer. My. Question. Your life depends upon it. Did. You. Have. Any _idea._ What he. Was planning to do. To her?"

Something like a growl shot out of Jacob's throat as he remembered. Something like a shudder ran through me.

"Yeah, I got it," Jake snapped back at him in disgust. "Didn't have to be a mindreader for that one, bloodsucker. It's not like I _liked _standing around watching, any better than you."

"You knew. And yet you phased and stopped me from going to her defense anyway." Edward sounded livid. His voice even shook. "I _should've_ shredded you, mutt. In fact, I still _might_."

Jacob's voice was equally dangerous, but filled with sarcasm.

"Oh, right. I keep forgetting. _You're_ the only one allowed to hurt her." Jake paused, huffing in frustration, and I could tell he was serious - he'd started a fight with Edward to keep him from coming to help me, but it was only because he'd believed it was utterly necessary, thanks to something Alice had said. And the implication otherwise was starting to piss him off.

"I mean, come _on_, parasite! What part of 'if we show ourselves she could end up dead' did _you_ forget about? Stop trying to make me the bad guy here! I was just trying to protect her from _you_. As usual." As Jacob spoke the final two words, his voice softened on a sigh and a warm hand gently brushed hair off my forehead.

If I hadn't already been half unconscious, I'd have shrunk away from the pure venom in Edward's voice when he answered. I didn't have to guess that Jacob's thoughts had taken a turn towards the tender and loving, and I didn't have to feel the sudden absence of Jacob's hand or hear the thud to know Edward had just knocked his hand away from me with enough force that it was a good thing Jake's bones healed easily.

"You're testing my patience, dog."

Jacob grinned and shrugged - another thing I didn't have to see to know. His earlier flash of anger seemed to have melted away with the pure satisfaction of getting under Edward's skin, probable broken fingers or not.

"So get the hell out of my head then. You already got the answer to your question. And it doesn't matter anyway. It's done. She called for us both, just like your creepy little fortune-teller said she eventually would. So my part is _done_, this truce is over, and now it's up to Bella. We're finally on equal ground - well, other than the fact that _I've_ never broken her heart and stomped on the pieces. So may the best _man_ win."

Edward sounded like he was explaining something to a small child, and a slow one at that. He was so furious that if he'd been human, I'd have feared for his blood pressure. "You have no idea how wrong you are and how much danger you put her in, which is the _only_ reason you're still alive right now." The way he growled out his next declaration almost gave me the shudders. "It _does _matter, Jacob. Alice gave us those instructions _before_ Bella decided to put herself in the hands of that _lowlife._ That wasn't in Alice's version of the future. She couldn't have foreseen Bella making that decision. It changed all the rules."

Anger filled Jake's voice again. "And exactly how the hell was I supposed to know _that? _I'm not the damn mindreader! You're the one poking around in _my_ head, not the other way around."

Again, I could see in my mind's eye what was happening as surely as if my eyes were open. Edward's eyes were undoubtedly clenched shut, his posture stiff, and his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. His voice was wry, tight.

"Let me assure you...I find that fact no less distasteful than you. In fact, I am confident that I probably like it much _less_ than you at this moment."

Jacob ignored that part, going back to Edward's earlier statement. "Besides, even if everything you say is true, exactly whose fault was it that she made the decision to jump in that asshole's truck and change everything all around anyway?" Jacob accused, swapping in a half-second from the self-assured grown-man werewolf to the 16-year-old boy that could have a childish streak.

"Can we _please_ not go through this again?" Edward asked, in that same kindergarten teacher voice.

"You pushed her over the edge with a stupid bagel and your piles of blood money! What happened to not making ourselves known?"

Edward sighed...loudly. "For at _least_ the tenth time - if she'd starved herself to death, then protecting her from a complete nervous breakdown would have been a moot point."

I could picture Jacob rolling his eyes. His tone was flippant. "Give me a break. It was already a moot point. Eventually she'd have passed out, ended up in the hospital, and they'd have _made_ her eat anyway."

This time, I _felt_ Edward's movement rather than imagining it. He flinched. Hard. And then he snarled. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that, mongrel, for your sake - so that I _don't_ end your miserable life right now after all - and instead choose to remember that you also tried to put an end to her hunger strike. It's your only redeeming quality at this point."

Jacob snorted. "What? You mean the pizza? That's not why I gave it to her. I _knew_ she wouldn't eat it." Jacob chuckled. "You really _can't_ read her mind, can you?"

There was a pause, and then a frustrated sound from Edward that let me know he hadn't found the answer he was looking for in Jacob's mind...something I figured Jacob was doing on purpose.

"Fine. I'll play along. So then why did you give it to her?" He threw in a threatening hiss. "Better choose your words carefully, mutt."

Jacob sounded smug about something, and I suspected it was the fact that he'd successfully hidden his motivation from Edward for the past couple days. "I'm getting better at that. I did it because of what your...sister said." Apparently he'd run out of snarky names to call Alice, or maybe he was just heeding Edward's warning. "If it was bad for Bella's sanity to _see_ either one of us without the other, I figured it was even worse for her to _think_ only one of us cared if she lived or died. You might as well have popped out of the trees and waved at her when you pulled the bagel stunt behind my back. She _knew_ you were there then. I was just putting us back on equal footing with the pizza."

I could picture Edward nodding slowly in thoughtful silence, his anger diminishing with the realization that it made sense, in a way.

"But at least she drank your soda," he pointed out softly, begrudgingly. It sounded like that fact hurt him a little, and I felt a twinge of guilt. Leave it to me to feel guilty for the only calories I'd consumed in days.

A grin broke out in Jacob's voice. "Yeah. Actually that shocked the hell out of me too," he admitted. Then the amusement dropped out of his voice, but it stayed conversational rather than angry. "But I do understand her better than you sometimes, you know. My little job on her truck would've actually worked - if you hadn't decided to add a little 'insurance.' I could've told you she wouldn't take a free sandwich."

Edward's voice was calmer now too, though I noticed he didn't deny Jacob's statement that he sometimes understood me better. "Actually, it wasn't free. I paid fifty dollars for it."

"Which is why Bella's in the middle of the forest in a ball. Again." Jake made that announcement bluntly, ending the brief moment of civility rather abruptly. And this time I didn't _want _to imagine the guilty cringe I knew Edward probably wore. "So what now?" Jacob taunted. "You're the one that's seen the future."

This time it was cool fingers which brushed my brow, lingering for just a second before disappearing.

"Exactly what you said before. Now everything's up to Bella."

There was silence for a moment, and then Jake asked softly.

"You've seen everything the brunette saw, right? I need to know what you know. How does this end?"

Edward's voice was even more quiet than Jacob's, and I felt both their eyes burning into my face.

"I have no idea."

ooo

There was never going to be a better opportunity.

"I do. I know exactly how this ends."

Speaking hadn't been as easy as I'd hoped. My voice was raspy, hoarse, as though I'd been unconscious for hours instead of minutes. My throat was dry, and I was still fighting to open my eyes.

Two sharp gasps sounded in my ears, and I felt both cold and heat radiating from somewhere very close to my face.

"Bella! Open your eyes, love...please," Edward pleaded gently.

"You okay, Bells? Talk to me," Jacob demanded at the same time, and the fear in his voice twisted my guts as surely as the hopeful softness in Edward's.

Not because Edward had asked me to, but I did manage to get my eyes open, waiting until their faces stopped swimming and I could see. I tried to struggle up to my elbow, and got more help than I'd counted on. The combination of two very different but very strong arms racing to get under my back and help me up first almost sent me flying up a _lot_ faster than I'd intended. It almost sent me right off the ground.

"Stop it! Both of you!" I managed to hiss, my voice still not my own. They both froze, staring at my face, but their arms were both still supporting me as well. A sudden feeling of what I could only call claustrophobia washed through me. I clenched my teeth, suppressing a shudder. "Stop. Touching. Me."

Something like recognition dawned in Edward's face, mingled heavily with horrified concern. When I eventually learned about Rosalie's past, I would understand that look and know that he was relating to something he'd seen before. He was only partly right. I'd probably have some nightmares later when it really hit home what had almost happened to me at the hands of my attacker, but I wasn't there yet; and in all honesty it had all happened so fast I had barely had time to really get scared, and nothing had ended up happening. No, at that moment I just wanted them both away from me on general principle. But Edward was watching my face with so much concern that I couldn't help staring back at him, watching as he drew his face a bit farther away from me, his grip on me loosening.

"I think we're going to back off, Jacob. Both of us. Now," Edward commanded him softly.

"Great. You first." Jacob's muttered retort was immediate, flippant, his eyes never leaving my face and his arm still warm under me.

I found myself suddenly supported by only my own elbow as Edward gently released me onto it, then yanked Jacob's arm away from under me as well. He rose to his feet, dragging Jacob up with him, and then backed them both up. "I said let go of her," he repeated calmly but firmly.

Jacob started vibrating as he snatched his arm away from Edward, and I watched in disbelief. Again? Really? Some truly furious part of me wondered if I should just let them rip each other to shreds and kill two birds with one stone. I didn't truly want that, obviously, but at the moment my fury knew no bounds.

I opened my mouth wearily to intervene - again - but to my surprise Edward diffused the situation. Very, very calmly he held out a conciliatory hand in Jacob's direction.

"Just trust me, Jacob. Just this once. Give her some space. I'll do the same."

"Thank you." The words were out of my mouth before I realized it, and I felt myself begin to relax somewhat. Jacob's head snapped around to look at me, and then he followed my lead - nodding ever so slightly at Edward in temporary agreement to back off for a minute, but without ever taking his eyes off my face.

"How much did you overhear?" Edward asked me softly, from several steps away, as he squatted down to my eye level, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped together.

"Enough." Why was I shaking? Maybe Edward was onto something after all.

Edward just nodded, looking down for a moment at his clasped hands before looking back up at me. "Enough, I hope, to know that neither of us ever intended to let you get hurt?"

I nodded back, his eyes drawing me in, even as my attention was momentarily caught by Jacob's look of surprise that Edward had included him in that statement. I'd almost forgotten Jacob standing there. I knew Edward's graciousness was for my sake, and some part of me even understood what it must cost him to say a kind word about the man he already knew I had been kissing - and had tried to seduce. When Edward was like this - so gentle and tender - it was almost easy to forget everything he'd put me through. It was almost easy to forget that trusting him again was the most dangerous thing I could ever do.

"I know," I conceded. "I know you tried to come stop him, and Jacob stopped you."

"Hey!"

My eyes shot up to Jacob at his protest, "And I know why. I heard everything."

"It wasn't his fault," Edward agreed softly, and the difference between the two men I loved - had loved? - struck me once again.

Which made this so much harder. Because I hadn't forgotten why I was doing this to start with - I'd _never_ forget the sight of them trying to kill each other outside Mike's house, could never forget that it was all because of me. I was poison to all three of us, and I was taking myself out of the picture. Even Charlie would be better off without having to worry about his halfway mental daughter all the time.

"No," I told Edward as coldly as I could, steeling myself. "It wasn't _just_ his fault."

The two of them actually exchanged a glance - Edward looking guilty, Jacob looking angry.

But I wasn't finished.

"If you'd both left me alone like I told you to, _none_ of this would have happened. My truck would still work. I'd have never _needed_ to hitchhike. And..."

"And you'd be in the hospital with an IV stuck in you by tomorrow," Jacob finished for me in classic Jacob style, rolling his eyes. "If you even made it _that _far. Come on, Bells, this is nuts even for you. We weren't going to step in unless we had to, but you didn't give us a choice."

It was Edward's turn to look surprised - Jacob was arguing _his_ point. Maybe the two were in more agreement than either of them realized.

I glared at them both. "I don't want either of your help. But you got me into this, so here's what's going to happen: you're going to take me back to my truck. I don't care how, just so long as it doesn't involve either of you touching me. Then you're going to _fix_ my truck, just like it was before you messed with it. Then you're going to go away."

"No." Edward's refusal surprised me.

"No?"

"You're too weak, Bella, for one thing," he told me reasonably, gently. "You need food. You can't walk back that far without it, and if you won't let us help you..."

"Fine," I snapped. "Then I'll go inside the motel and call a cab. You can just leave me here in the woods by myself. You're good at that."

I had almost pulled that final sentence back before I spoke it, but hunger, frustration and seven long months of holding too much inside had suddenly become too much for me.

But when I saw the look on Edward's face, I wished I _had_ bit my tongue.

"Ouch," Jacob supplied with a smirk. He was a little too happy about my verbal barb at Edward. So I turned my lashing out toward him.

"Don't you need to go _imprint_ someplace?" I raged at him, still not having any idea what it meant - other than the fact that he might one day decide he didn't care about me - but I was just reminding him of my problem with _him_. Maybe he hadn't left yet - but he was apparently going to. He was going to leave me one day just like Edward. Neither of them could be trusted. It wasn't easy to keep up this level of anger at either of them, but I _had _to - for their sakes as well as mine.

And at least I'd wiped the smirk off Jacob's face, for once.

But when I turned back to Edward, my eyes grew wide. I'd finally gone too far. One look at his face, and I knew I'd finally forced the confrontation that maybe I'd subconsciously been pushing for all along. His face was set, determined. His next words only confirmed it.

His eyes closed briefly as he slowly shook his head, as though just understanding something; and maybe he just had.

"This has gone on far enough. Alice was wrong."

My eyebrow raised at that one. Seemed like she'd been right so far - I'd gone running down the Newtons' street in tears; I'd eventually got myself into enough trouble to scream for Edward and Jacob.

But Edward wasn't finished. "Everything she has seen has happened, but it's all been because I _made_ it happen; because of decisions _I've_ made, not you - the decision to leave you; the decision to force my presence on you at any cost; the decision to interfere; the decision to force my will on you. It's the course _I_ was on that Alice was seeing. Even _your_ decisions have been in reaction to _my _decisions. Every bit of this is my fault, and I take full responsibility."

"I'm good with that," Jacob threw in irreverently, but we both ignored him.

"What I should have done is explained this all to you from the beginning," Edward continued, holding my gaze captive. "I'm sorry that I haven't, Bella. I was truly trying to give you time and space. But all I've done is hurt you more by leaving you to come up with your own explanations for my actions. That ends now. I'm going to tell you everything, Bella. And you're going to listen."

TO BE CONTINUED...

**Author's Note:**

**The Edge of Reason will be getting updated next, complete with an explanation of the big explosion. If you haven't checked it out in a while, please do! It's getting kind of exciting if I say so myself. :)**

**Please, please send lots of reviews! The more of them I see and the higher that number goes, the more motivated I am to get back to this one quickly. And the next chapter should be fun to write. :) **

**Oh, and by the way, to the one person whose name starts with an R who decided to send me a couple of un-logged in flames for the last chapter - this is the only reaction you'll ever get from me. I've deleted you twice now, and I'll just keep deleting you. You'll get no further mention or attention from me. It really makes no difference to me what you do. If you have an honest criticism other than something like "OMG this chapter sux. Why don't you update faster next time, that's so RUDE" (Yeah...I'm paraphrasing, but that's the general idea. Makes a LOT of sense, huh, guys?) then have the guts to log in and leave a signed review. If I have to disable unsigned reviews I will, or at least when I'm not home to delete you. **

**Everyone else, THANK YOU for the wonderful reviews. If you're not reviewing, then help fight back against flamers: leave a REAL review for this chapter as a show of support so I'll have an idea how many people actually like the story or if everyone would just rather it stop here. I love knowing what lines you like best, so I always love to get a review telling me your favorite part. And tell me...did you like the Edward and Jacob interaction in this chapter? Want more at some point? (I always love hearing Jake and Eddie talk...the tent scene in Eclipse is pretty much my favorite part of the entire series.)**


End file.
